Chapter 12
Max madesure that the Uber I had called arrived safely before letting me leave his house. I needed to be away from him for a little while. Tonight was one of the most perfect nights I had ever had, but the ending had me putting up my wallsagain.
I lay in bed afterward, thinking of all of the words he had said and all of the ones I hadn’t. It was becoming a common theme for us. He would always pour his heart out and I just didn’t know what tosay.
The sunlight shining in from the new morning was a reminder that last night had actually happened. I had made a fool of myself in front of Max, but for some reason he kept reeling me back in. He may have said he wanted all of me, but how much of a relationship did he truly want? I had once upon a time wanted the white picket fence, but those days were behind me, and I knew that that wasn’t so much of a reality anymore, at least not rightnow.
When I went into the kitchen, Lilly was already dressed, with a tea cup and an empty chair waiting for me. I knew she wanted all the details, but I had to decide how much I wanted to tell her and how much I still needed to keep to myself so I could processit.
“Spill.” I had sat down for no more than a second before I was telling her about the night, after we had left the apartment. The only thing I skipped was the after-dinner portion. I still hadn’t fully decided how I liked Max’s declaration, but Lilly came to the same conclusion Idid.
“You are clearly sexually attracted to him, but I think you may have actual feelings for him, too.” We sat there in silence, hoping that this wasn’t a huge issue, except for the fact that I knew that it was. I know that if I admitted I was starting to have feelings for Max, everything would change. I wasn’t ready for that justyet.
“It was just one date.” I sipped on my tea. Just one date, that was it. “I doubt he would want to go on another one with me, and if I am getting feelings for him, then I need to run. It’s too soon and too close to Adam for this kind of rebound.” Even though Max kept saying all the right things, I knew he wanted something more, something with a ring. My phone vibrated between us. We both leaned in, looking at it, Unknown Number. I opened it before Lilly was able to see what itsaid.
Good Morning,beautiful.
I tried to clutch the phone to my chest, but she was already prying it from my fingers. I huffed at her once she finally gotit.
“I feel like I’m not getting the whole story of what happened last night.” I went to grab my phone back, but she moved it out of reach. I made it seem like the date fizzled, but in reality, it did nothing of the sort. I explained the whole incident after we had finished dinner, though, down to every word Max had said to me. I hadn’t wanted to, but maybe Lilly was the person who could explain all of this to me, or at least I thought so. “He is veryconfusing.”
I huffed out myagreement.
“But so are you, babe.” Lilly patted my hand. I looked over at her in shock, but then it sank in. As much as I thought Max was being confusing, so was I. We were both trying to figure this out, but instead of working together, we were both taking our own routes inthis.
I let my head rest against the table, and Lilly relinquished the phone so I could finally reply to Max. Maybe I could move this situation in a differentdirection.
Morning, Mr.Wellington.
I knew we had gotten past the formal stage with each other, but if I could bring it back there, maybe I could put this on hold for just a little longer. Max was not one to give up, and right when I thought he was going to leave, he brought me right back. He wouldn’t give me the option to leave him. I didn’t want to leave him, but the possibility of falling for this man had my head spinning and my feet itching to run. He had gotten under my skin this last month, and I couldn’t keep fighting the urge I got with him. I was in such a push and pull that I wasn’t just confusing myself, but everyone else around me,too.
When did we get so formal again,Alexa?
My heart fluttered at his flirtation. When I didn’t answer him right away, he texted meagain.
I hope you have a great day, MissFrelan.
My phone dropped out of my hand and landed back on the table. I let it sit there as I walked over to the couch, breathingdeeply.
“What the hell did he text you?” Lilly followed me with my phone in her hand and started to unlock it. “How the hell does he know your maidenname?”
I didn’t answer her or Max. I let my phone sit on the table where Lilly had put it while I turned on a random movie channel. I knew Max had looked into my past. Hell, he had been the one to work through my divorce papers, but I never expected him to use my maiden name. He was already taking my marriage out of my life before I had fully done so. I hadn’t actually thought about going back to my maiden name, but now that he had said it, it didn’t sound like a horribleidea.
The next two days, I spent at home writing and reading, not texting Max. Every couple of hours, though, he sent me something new, but I ended up ignoring the texts. I really needed to figure out what I was going to do with him by Monday. He wasn’t stepping over a line at all, but he was stepping on my toes, and that wasn’t a dance that I was wanting to do rightnow.
Lilly had set us up with junk food for each day so that we wouldn’t have to leave the apartment. Even on Sunday, Erica came over for a vent session on life in general. Around eight that night the doorbell rang. All three of us looked at it in confusion since our pizza had already arrived twenty minutes ago and we hadn’t ordered anythingelse.
“I’ll get it.” I offered to get up from the comfort of the couch first. I was dressed in my yoga shorts, a tank with a large knitted sweater draped over me, and long socks. It covered enough and was comfortable, so I wasn’t afraid to answer the door in only that. I wasn’t prepared when I answered the doorthough.
“What the hell are you doing answering the door in that?!” Max’s anger radiated through the entire apartment. I was pretty sure our neighbors had heard him. I didn’t have time to answer as he dragged me off to my bedroom and closed the door behind us. He remembered there was no lock on my door, so he pulled my chair over and propped it under the door handle. “Why haven’t you answered mytexts?”
“You can’t just storm in here like that!” I moved myself away from him to the middle of the room. I got a better look at Max now, though. The small light in my room showed me an unshaven face, unkempt shirt, and wrinkled pants. This wasn’t the Max that I knew, but for some reason it drew me more towards him, just as it had when I had seen him in his kitchen. He was losing himself with me, and I couldn’t figure out if this was a good thing or a badthing.
“I can and Idid.”
“You can’t just intrude on my life whenever you want to.” Max didn’t care what I was telling him; he stalked closer to me. “I didn’t text you back because I needed time tothink.”
“And what have you been thinking about?” I couldn’t look him in the eyes as he moved into my space. Heat emanated off his body, but instead of warming me, it sent shivers up myspine.
