Maisie sighed, then looked at Catriona. “It would have been wonderful if you had been there. I’m sure you would have found the perfect words to reject his advances in his inebriated state without hurting him too much.”
“We didn’t see you at all after your dance with Joseph,” Ava pointed out. “Did you leave without him?”
It took everything in her body not to react outwardly to the mention of his name. “No, I was still there. I was not feeling very well, however, so I stayed in one of the adjoining rooms for nearly the remainder of the ball.”
“Oh, is that so?” Maisie’s hand touched hers. “Are you feeling better now?”
No. I feel as if I am on the verge of breaking into tears at any given moment.
She nodded instead, making a valiant effort to smile. “A little better, yes. Though a bit under the weather.”
“Is that why you left Irvin Manor?” Ava asked.
“Ava…” Frederic said in a warning tone which was quite unlike him. So unlike him in fact that Ava immediately clammed up, but the suspicion and worry in her eyes only deepened.
Catriona knew she would have to tell them everything. If not just to assuage their concerns but to unburden her own heart.But she couldn’t do it now. She wanted to at least get through breakfast without breaking out into tears after all.
Maisie must have sensed that because she changed the topic to something safer—Ava. “I am willing to believe that Lord Wentworth will call on you this afternoon,” she said to her sister.
Ava groaned in a rather unladylike manner. “Oh, dear heavens, I hope not.”
The conversation continued in that trend, and it helped. She could forget, just for a short while, all the burdens of her heart and consume herself with the lives of her sisters. It was familiar. It felt normal.
But thoughts of Joseph were never too far from her mind, lingering in the recesses for the moment she was not faced with distraction. Facing it was quickly becoming one of her fears but for now, she simply pretended as if nothing had changed. That she was still her sisters’ keeper and that she had never fallen in love with the Duke of Irvin.
“Tell us.”
Catriona knew this time would come, but she didn’t think it would be so soon. She’d only just left the breakfast room, hoping to find an empty room where she could let out the pent-upsadness before she started bawling in front of her uncle and sisters when they caught up to her.
Catriona looked between her sisters, who stood facing her with identical looks of determination, before she nodded. “Very well then.”
She said nothing else, walking off. She had no intention of having this conversation in the hallway, so she headed to one of the small parlors on the first floor and immediately claimed one of the sofas by the hearth. Nina plopped down at her feet.
Ava and Maisie were right on her heels, their determined looks now replaced with their previous concern.
“Cat, you’re worrying us,” Ava said. “This isn’t like you.”
“Yes, I don’t think I have ever seen you like this,” Maisie added.
Catriona had to admit that was true. She’d always made it a point of duty never to cry in front of her sisters. She was the one who would do the comforting, not the one who would ever need comfort. It was her job as the eldest sister to ensure that she kept her emotions in check so that she could be relied on, that they could go to her without worrying about her welfare.
But now, it felt as if she could not truly be open with them. She sat there, staring at the floor in front of her, searching for the right words. Nothing came. All it did was open her heart up, raw and gut wrenching pain seizing her at once. The tears cameunhindered, flowing down her cheeks before she could stop them. A sob forced its way up her throat, and Catriona clamped her hand over her mouth to keep it in.
“Oh, Cat.” Maisie rushed to her side, wrapping her arms around Catriona’s shoulders. The embrace only undid her. Suddenly, she could no longer hold it in. It was nothing like last night when she’d cried as silently as she could into her pillow, hoping he would not overhear. This was nothing like Lady Blimington’s ball where she’d constantly wiped her tears and pretended as if nothing were amiss, just in case someone was to walk in on her.
This consumed her body and soul. It came from a place deep within, unexplainable, yet transcended every other mortal plane, overrode every thought. At that moment, the only thing that existed was Catriona’s pain and tears. Nothing else.
She didn’t know when Ava joined her on her other side, when both her sisters embraced her with tears of their own. She didn’t realize that her sobbing had caught Nina’s attention as well, and it was making her so distressed that her dog was crying too, paws on her lap in a desperate attempt to get closer to her. Only when the fog cleared and her tears slowed did she finally feel a part of the world again.
“I’m sor?—”
“Don’t you dare apologize,” Ava snapped, her voice clogged with emotion. “You have no reason to apologize for letting it all out.”
“We’re the ones who are sorry, Cat,” Maisie said with a sniffle. “We didn’t know that you were holding all this in.”
“How could you have known when I hadn’t realized either?” Catriona pulled away slightly, wanting to pull herself together. Her head was starting to ache, and she suddenly felt so exhausted it took everything in her not to lie down and close her eyes.
“What is this all about?” Ava wiped her face free of tears. “Is Joseph to be blamed? Did he hurt you?”
