The only time I can’t avoid seeing him is in the morning, unless I sneak out at dawn. And the second he walks into the kitchen, hair a mess, wearing one of his ridiculous pyjama sets (yes, he has a whole collection), my brain just… short-circuits all over again.
It takes everything I’ve got not to bolt from the room with a very obvious erection.
After several sleepless nights, I finally forced myself to think clearly, and no, this isn’t about missing Maddie, or catching some weird flu, and it definitely has nothing to do with that beer we had on Saturday. I’ve only drunk water since.
The problem… is him.
A guy who turns me on and drives me absolutely insane,
more than anyone ever has.
Not a woman.
Not a man.
No one.
It took me a while to accept it, probably because it’s never happened before. I’ve got plenty of gay friends and colleagues, but I’ve never once felt physically attracted to a guy.
And honestly? That’s not what bothers me.
I was lucky enough to grow up in a family where no one ever judged anyone for who they loved,
where difference was seen as something to value, not hide. So yeah, it’s surprising to be feeling something completely new... but it doesn’t scare me.
Whatdoesscare me?
That it’shim.
Maddie’s ex.
If it weren’t such a mess, it might almost be funny.
Trying to figure this out is going to be a nightmare.
After spending my whole life thinking I was straight, I wouldn’t even know where to begin with a guy.
And anyway, I shouldn’t even be having thoughts like this.
I have a girlfriend I care about.
Deeply.
So why the hell does Sebastian affect me like this?
This week, I’ve even made a conscious effort to pay attention to the guys around me, at the gym, at the pool, even on campus.
Nothing. Not a flicker. No one else does a thing to me.
Which only makes it more confusing.
Is it possible to be gay… just for one person? Or maybe bi?
Has anyone even heard of something like that?
As far as I know, Sebastian’s straight. And even if, by some miracle, he wasn’t, it wouldn’t change anything. I’m taken. And I’m sure he’s not interested.
There’s no alternative. Whatever reaction he’s triggered in my system, it needs to be contained. Neutralised. Immediately.
