“You once said you wouldn’t go anywhere.”
“I lied.”
He didn’t mean it. I could hear it in his voice that he didn’t mean it; I could see it in his eyes that he didn’t mean it. Or that’s what I told myself to make this less painful; to save what was left of my heart as it shattered into a million tiny pieces.
My mind switched to autopilot, like the many other times anything went to shit, and my hands were reaching for the seat belt buckle and grabbing my bag. I couldn’t remember when the tears started falling until I looked at him again and tried to pull myself together as he watched me.
His tearful gaze had softened but his jaw remained tight.
“All my life, I’ve had decisions made for me,” I said quietly, willing myself to get the words out before I completely fell apart. “I know a lot of that was down to me. That I should’ve said no more...but I thought you were different from them.”
“Lily...” Pain contorted his features before he reached across to brush the tears from my cheek. But he stopped himself and lowered his hand.
The goodbye never made it past my lips, swallowed by the lump in my throat before I pushed the car door open and stepped out into the rain. I couldn’t feel it as I made the walk to the front doors of the apartment block.
Every step away caused the ache in my chest to grow, spreading under my skin until my entire body physically hurt. I was silently sobbing by the time I crossed the threshold into the foyer, holding myself around the middle. The tears on my face were mixed with the rainwater that dripped from my hair.
I didn't look back, I didn’t think I could, but as the doors swung over again, that familiar rumbling eased off down the road until it faded into the sound of the storm.
He was gone and I didn’t think my heart could break any more.
I was a fool for falling in love so fast. For thinking a guy like him might ever feel the same towards me. We were too different, and I was the stupid, naïve girl that was bound to get hurt sooner or later.
Chapter 63
Lily
I hadn’t slept.
Part of me didn’t want to believe that he ended it. The other part of me, most of me, felt completely broken. Through every moment I tried to accept it, I crumpled again, soaking my pillowcase with fresh tears as I buried myself beneath the covers.
They still smelt like him.
I nestled my head deeper into my pillow, keeping my eyes shut as if that could keep reality at bay.
The familiar ding of a text coming through broke the silence of the room. I knew better than to get my hopes up, but I couldn’t help how fast I reached for my phone on the nightstand.
A text from Mom was the only notification on my lock screen.
Mom: Are you ever coming into work again at all? You can't keep allowing a relationship to distract you from everything else.
Her words were a punch to my already bruised heart. But she didn’t know what happened in the past 24 hours. How much had changed...
Me: Dean broke up with me
Admitting it for the first time made it hurt more.
I sucked in a sob as I watched Mom’s typing bubble pop up.
This was what she wanted. She would say something harsh about it being good that it happened. I wouldn't be surprised if she started plotting another date with one of her friend’s sons.
The typing bubble disappeared and then reappeared after a pause.
Mom: I'm sorry, honey.
Mom: We do need you at the office.
Mom: Working might get your mind off it.
