Change the subject to something lighter.
My mouth formed the faintest of hopeful smiles as I looked at him again. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”
When his frown deepened, my smile faltered.
“Is it something to do with what you wanted to say this morning?” I held onto that glimmer of hope despite it fading.
Dean rubbed a hand over his mouth and jaw before he responded, turning on an angle in his seat.
“After what happened tonight... I shouldn’t have let this go on.” The last part was said more to himself as he shook his head. His eyes drifted to me, shadowed by that frown. “You don’t belong in that world.”
I scoffed, though it was more in uncertainty and confusion. “I think I’ve proved I can handle it.”
“I thought you could too. But after seein’ how upset you were tonight— It’s not even about that... Murphy was going to hurt you as revenge for what I did.” He took a breath. “It was his brother who spiked your drink. Murphy used the same drugs on me, and was going to do the same to you.”
I paused as I tried to rationalize this information before it got the better of me. “Okay, so, I’ll just be more cautious.”
“I don’t want you there when things get bad.” His eyes cut to me sharply and I swallowed.
"Antonio is the one who decides whether I can stay or go.”
“I know that but with the connection to me, it puts you at risk... I’ve made enemies and I don’t want them ever comin’ after you.” He rubbed at his forehead like it would help settle him, or put into focus whatever thoughts were racing around his head. “What I’m trying to say is...if we aren’t so close, you’ll be safe. At least until I can convince Antonio to let you go too...”
Too.
Thunder rumbled through the silence, overtaking the low hum of the engine, as the realization quickly set in. Weighing heavily in the space between us and suffocating the air from my lungs. The pain started as a small ache in my chest — a small fracture across my heart that was sure to shatter at the lightest of taps.
I was unable to pull my gaze from my knees as I clutched my bag to my stomach.
“Please, don’t do this,” I whispered.
He cleared his throat and continued, shifting in his seat so he was facing forward. “Antonio will wanna lay low for a bit while the cops are around—”
“Dean—”
“He probably wouldn’t be too phased if you left while he was in hiding. You’re a clean slate to him…”
I released a shuddering breath.
This isn’t happening.
“It’ll give you a chance to take your life back—”
“Stop.” I dragged my eyes to him, trying and failing to keep my voice from shaking as fresh tears lined my vision. “Please.”
His eyes were distant as he looked out the windshield, his cold exterior almost believable except his throat bobbed. The only sign this was just as painful saying it as it was hearing it.
“You’re better off without me,” he said softly.
“That’s not true.” My voice sounded so small.
“It is...” Another flash of lightning illuminated the watery glaze in his eyes before he quickly wiped them with the back of his hand. Almost as fast, he schooled his features, clearing his throat as he frowned. “Endin’ it now is just...better for you.”
The words hit me like a freight train to the chest, leaving behind a gaping hole where my heart should be. With just a simple sentence, he cast aside everything we had.
I waited for him to say it was a mistake and he wanted to find a solution instead of doing this. But he remained silent, slowly settling back into his seat as he thumbed the bottom of the steering wheel. A muscle feathered in his jaw and a single tear skimmed down his bruised cheek. He didn't bother to wipe this one away, not when it fell to his forearm.
My eyes tracked where it went until I was staring blankly. When I tried to speak again, it sounded distant compared to the pounding in my ears.
