He was being very careful. She had imagined that, with a rake, there would be more rending of garments. Of course, she usually imagined that there would be more resisting on the part of the girl involved. She should not judge.
He returned and stood in front of her, glanced down at her body and smiled. Then, he looked back up into her face, touching her cheek with his hand. ‘When I look into your eyes, I am undone.’ He lowered his mouth to cover hers and she opened to his kiss.
It was different than it had been the last time. A year ago, he’d been playful, teasing her into responding before she’d known what was happening. But this kiss began slow with the barest touch of his tongue, as if it was his first. The thought made her smile. He felt the change and responded to it, moving against her, sipping and nipping, tasting and savoring.
She kissed him back, just as carefully, her tongue sliding against his and into his mouth. The feeling was safe and exciting all at once, as if the fragile barriers between them were fading away. She gave a hazy thought to the pictures above them, and the very real joining that was to come. The pleasure of the kiss was sweet and delicious. But it was not enough. She wanted more.
The gentle exploration grew to something more demanding. He pressed a hand to the back of her neck, urging her on until she was licking into him and nibbling his lips, dizzy with the need to know him.
His hands moved down her back to the ties of her petticoat and the laces of her stays, stripping her, pushing them out of the way until she stood in shift and stockings, her arms wrapped around his neck, rubbing her nearly naked body against him.
Then, he pulled away, in a flurry of breathless bites on her swollen lips. ‘I am wearing far too much clothing. Let us take care of that, shall we?’ He lifted her hands to the knot of his cravat and went to work on the buttons of his waistcoat, peeling off his coat and throwing it aside with none of the gentleness he’d used on her garments.
She rushed as well, pulling at knots, tugging his shirt free of his breeches and drawing it up and over his head, then arching her back as he seized her by the waist and buried his face in her breasts. He tugged the shift down and grazed her nipples with his teeth before taking them, one after the other, into his mouth with long, greedy pulls. Desire flowed in her like blood, rushing to the places he kissed and down again to pool between her legs, leaving her wet and wanting.
As if from a great distance, she heard herself making small, needy noises, pleading for things she did not know she wanted.
He answered with a growl and walked back with her towards the bed, pushing her down on it as he hurried to strip away the last of his clothes. Then, he was on the mattress with her, pushing her legs apart and burying his face between them. As his hands undid her garters and smoothed her stockings down her legs, his mouth was doing unspeakable things to her body, kissing places she had never thought a man could kiss.
She stared up at the ceiling and saw her own reflection in the mirror and the knowing smiles of the cherubs as he took her, his tongue darting into her before his teeth found a place that made every muscle in her body jump. His hands slid back up her thighs and his fingers were on her, then in her, moving in time to the thrust of his tongue.
The pressure grew. And suddenly, she knew why he’d talked of screaming. She was making sounds she’d never heard before as he took her, played with her, ravished her. The woman she could see in the mirror, naked and writhing in ecstasy, one hand on her lover’s neck and the other playing with her own breasts, was as wanton as any of the nymphs on the ceiling.
Suddenly, it was all too much. She was sure, if this did not end immediately, she would shatter like glass. But before she could tell him to stop, the change she was fearing happened and it was not her that broke, it was whatever bonds had tethered her to the earth. She was free for the first time in her life, flying, floating, drifting back to earth as light as a feather in a breeze.
She could feel Sebastian stroking her hip, murmuring endearments against the inside of her thigh. Then, she felt him move, sliding up, stretching himself to cover her body with his. ‘I do not want to hurt you,’ he said, stroking her hair. ‘But someone will. And it must be me.’
She looked at the ceiling again, at the creatures cavorting across it and knew that, no matter how she felt now, they had just begun. Underneath the delicious sensations she had experienced, there was a deep emptiness that needed filling, and desire coiling inside her readying for another release.
She wrapped her arms around him and spread her legs, staring into the mirror at her hands stroking down his naked back to grasp his hips. ‘Make me yours.’
She closed her eyes, but only for a moment. Then, she opened them and watched their reflection, and the muscles of his bum flexing as he moved. He was touching her again, stretching, shifting, nudging.
It hurt. Just as he said it would.
But they were one, and that made it better. He kissed her and let out a shaky sigh and moving very slowly, sucking his breath back through his teeth in a way that made her wonder if he hurt,as well. ‘You are heaven,’ he whispered. ‘As I always knew you would be. An angel.’
The pain was fading. In its place, she felt a strange sense of triumph. Lust was supposed to be a sin. As were greed, avarice and sloth. She felt them all, mixed with so much sweet pleasure. If she had to deny herself these feelings, she did not want to be an angel, anymore. She wanted to be wicked.
She wrapped her legs around his and sank her fingers into his flesh, urging him on. Then, she rode the feeling as he thrust deep, surprised at how good it felt to be taken. And there were so many pictures above her. So many ways that they could join. She wanted to try them all.
She thrust up with her hips, trying to keep time with him as her muscles clenched around him and she lost herself in the feeling. Then, he was faltering, shuddering, crying out as he said she might, and finally, collapsing on top of her, spent.
They rested for a time, and then he kissed her light and playful, his body still a part of her. Then, he smiled at her, eyes sparkling and said, ‘Tell me, sweet. How do you like being a fallen woman?’
Chapter Sixteen
Sebastian held his breath, waiting for an answer. Perhaps he should not have been so flippant over an experience as profound as this one had been. But it was easier to joke about things he did not understand, and this was unfamiliar territory for him, just as much as for her.
Though he had not done so recently, he’d made love more times than he could count. But he had never beenin lovewhile he’d done it. If this had been a session of a casual afternoon of prigging? He’d have known just how to behave. But he had never lain with a virgin, much less the woman he planned to marry.
He had expected there might be tears. Her eyes were not the least bit misty. But there was a lump in his throat that he had not expected. If she did not speak soon, he was going to blurt out something embarrassing that would spoil his reputation as a man of experience.
She licked her lips and he watched, fascinated. She released a theatrical sigh and said, ‘If one must be ruined, I suppose this will have to do.’ Then, she smiled, catlike and satisfied.
He relaxed. He had not disappointed. He rolled, pulling her after to sprawl across him.
She slid off and nestled under his arm, kissing his cheek.
