“No. But you’re bonded to one.” He frowned. “Did Samael never tell you this was something you could do?”
“It didn’t exactly come up. What about Lucifer? Won’t he be able to feel that you’re bonded to someone else?”
He shook his head. “The underking doesn’t bond with his people in that way. Not even me. It would mean repercussions if he killed those he believed were disloyal without just cause. And it would also mean he would have to risk his life for his people when they were threatened.”
And my grandfather wasn’t exactly the type to do that.
“I have a question first.”
“Sure.”
“Would you have done it? If I’d never gotten my memory back? Would you have one day ruled beside me, knowing I was in love with Samael? And that I would always be an empty-headed shadow of myself?”
He sighed. “I don’t think it would have ever gotten to that point. I was willing to play along because I knew deep down that you’d get your memories back. That your bondmate would never stop fighting for you.”
I studied his face. “And if that hadn’t happened?”
“I would have done whatever it took to keep us both alive. To buy us time. Even if that meant your memories were taken a thousand times.”
At least he was honest.
“One more question.”
He nodded.
“Did you really think I’d slaughter the kitchen maid?”
He heaved a sigh. “No. No, I was just pissed because you didn’t trust me, and pissed at myself because I couldn’t blame you for not trusting me. And pissed that you’d even noticed that I have… feelings.”
My lips trembled. “Okay. If you think I can do this, let’s do it.”
Samael would understand when I explained it to him.
Pischiel pulled a dagger from its sheath and my empty hands clenched with a sudden longing for my Nim Cub.
“I’ve never done this before, and I wasn’t exactly in a great frame of mind when Samael first bonded me. You’ll need to talk me through it.”
“I can do that.”
In the end, it wasn’t difficult. In fact, a lot of it seemed self-explanatory. We both cut our palms, pressed them together, and the slightest hint of a bond appeared in my mind, like a frayed thread.
“You have to—”
“I know what I have to do.” It was instinct. I focused on that thread, bringing my bond with Samael into my mind. I studied our bond, the thick gold rope of it, and attempted to replicate it with the thread.
It slowly began to glow, growing stronger as I watched.
Pischiel cried out, falling to his knees, and I got an echo of that pain. I ground my teeth, holding on through the burn of it, as I pressed that thin strand to Samael’s end of the bond.
“It’s not working.”
Pischiel was now writhing on the ground. Fuck.
My mind raced, and I traveled back down our thick gold bond, until I found the spot where it joined to me. My pain was turning to agony, and I had no idea how Pischiel was still conscious. Crossing mental fingers, I pressed the thin thread leading to the spot where Samael’s bond connected to me.
It stuck. And it grew thicker. Nowhere near the coiled rope that represented my bond with Samael, but thick enough that I wasn’t worried that it would suddenly snap. Huh. I’d thought I had to connect him to Samael, but instead, he was connected to me, and Samaelthroughme.
At that moment, I felt Samael, felt him down at the end ofourbond. Whatever power Lucifer was using to keep me from feeling him was weakened at this very moment.
