“Okay, maybe notsillybecause plenty of people write. But it was selfish. I was doing it for me. Because I liked to escape. Nursing helps others.”
“The fuck.” Zane frowns, shaking his head. “I seem to remember a big spiel you gave Cade when he questioned why you wanted to be a writer more than anything else. Do you need me to remind you of that?” This time when my eyes widen, he notices and smirks. “Yeah, I remember a lot about you, B.”
“That was then. This is now.”
“So, people these daysdon’tneed an escape from their stressful lives. Theydon’tneed books to make them smile, characters to help them believe in love, stories to give them strength. Hope.”
Jesus. His memory is almost word-perfect. I can still picture that moment. Me putting Cade in his place, Zane giving me a slow clap at the end.
“I still believe in all of that. But being a writer doesn’t save lives. It wouldn’t have saved—”
“Agree to disagree on that one.” Zane abruptly cuts me off and I stumble over Sierra’s name. “If it’s not what you want, I’ll drop it.”
“Okay, thanks.” That’s oddly respectful for Zane and I’m not entirely buying it. He’d usually push me on something like that. It’s what I love—loved about him. Although, I can’t help but notice it’s the second time he’s changed the subject when the topic has moved to his sister. Or close to her. This time I couldn’t get her name out. Is this his way of avoiding the tension that initially tore us apart?
“We don’t need to get into this,” I say, letting him off the hook so we don’t end up in unwanted territory again.
“I want to.” He motions for me to start walking and settles beside me. “I’m just trying to get my head around the change. So, you’re looking for a nursing job?”
“I am.” I nod, giving in since we’re at least moving in the right direction. To my car.
“Okay. What’s Nathan doing to help you? Has he asked around? Spoken to the medical team at the Suns?”
“What? No. He’s new to the team. He needs to focus on himself for now and—”
“Bullshit.”
I scoff at his remark. “It’s not bullshit, Zane. Stop trying to paint him as the bad guy. He was around. Hestayed.”
Zane freezes, his hands balling into fists. “He wasaround? Do you really want me to respond to that? If he hadn’t beenaround, maybe none of this would have happened.”
My breath hitches as grief overwhelms me. “Zane.”
“No, Blair. I get it, you love him and you hate me, but don’t pretend he didn’t play a part in all of this. He’s not Mr. Innocent.”
He stands tall, ready for a fight, but I’m not prepared to give him one. It hurts too much.
“I don’t hate you, Zane.” My shoulders drop as I sigh.
“What?”
“I don’t hate you. I never hated you. How could I when I’m the reason you left?”
“B—”
“No, please. Maybe we need this to move on. Maybe that’s the reason you’re here. The reason Jenna’s working with Hayley. The reason I’m in California and attended your first game after your injury. We could get closure. We never really had that.”
“Is that what you want?”
“It’s what’s right.” I start walking again and Zane strides to catch up, grabbing my arm to stop me.
“That’s not what I asked.”
“I know,” I sigh, hitting him with a soft smile. “But that’s all I’ve got.”
“Then what do you want from me? To move on.”
“I want you to tell me that we did the right thing. That you leaving was the right decision.”
