“Are you?” She stands up and takes a step farther away from me, her body shaking. “Do you want to know why I broke up with Nathan? Do you?” She points at my chest and I stiffen.
“Why?”
“Because heneverlistened. Now you’re doing the same thing. I haven’t spoken about this to anyone. Ever. And I’m tellingyou. So, sit the fuck down and listen to me.”
I blink a few times before dropping to the edge of the bed, shuffling closer to Blair. When our eyes lock, I almost smile, only I know better than that, and this isn’t the moment. But God, I love her. I never fucking stopped.
“You have my full attention,” I rasp and mean it. “You’ve always had it.”
“I know. Thank you.”
“Please go on.”
“What I was trying to say is that I will always regret what happened that night, all of it. But not for the reasons you’re thinking. Nathan and I talked about what happened. He apologized. I forgave him. But I never forgave myself. That’s why I blame myself for the accident. Because I slept with someone else, and I called you to pick up the pieces. I’m sorry I never told you that before. But mostly, I’m sorry it happened. You should have been my first. And in my dreams, when I’m happy and the world’s a different place, you were. But in reality, I messed up and I don’t know how I’ll ever get over it.”
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Zane
After convincing Blair that she didn’t do anything wrong, she finally falls asleep in my arms, her tears coating my chest. While I fight hard not to break down.
I can’t sleep, my stomach twisted in knots. Nausea goddamn consumes me. Everything aches as I spiral into darkness. I knew my actions that night—and in the lead-up—fucked up her life. I’d been aware of that from the moment I walked away. But I had no idea of the extent of her pain, the depths of her torment.
When I’m still awake at three a.m., I get up and pace the hallway, careful not to wake her but itching to do something.
Assault or not, what happened to Blair shouldn’t have happened. She never should have been at the party, but more than that, she shouldn’t have to walk around with that pain in her heart, that guilt weighing her down. It was bad enough that she thought the crash was her fault.
But having to carry this? When she doesn’t even know…
My stomach heaves and I fall into the wall before sliding to the floor, sinking my head into my hands.
I shouldn’t have left. I should have stayed to protect her. I should have been there to make her happier.
Always.
Iglance down at the address on my screen, silently thanking Jenna for once again helping me out.
After spending my morning at the stadium and hiding my feelings from Blair, I then watched her walk through the gates toward her plane, and rushed over to the information desk, booking my own flight.
I should have confronted Nathan well before now. But I’m finally righting that wrong.
Taking a deep breath, I look up at the complex in front of me and my nostrils flare.
This place doesn’t even suit Blair. There’s no greenery. No warmth. Sure, the stems of the brightly colored flowers are green, but there’s no grass, no trees. Even before I discovered Blair’s love of hiking, I knew she’d live somewhere surrounded by nature. Not plants and flowers that look like they’ve been imported from other countries but native trees full of birds and wildlife.
I’m surprised she agreed to start a new life here.
But what do I know? I’m just the guy she had a fling with in high school. Nathan was supposed to be the real deal.
With a fresh anger coursing through me, I stride toward the condo at the back, a scowl forming as I go. And by the time I reach his door, I’m ready to break something. None of this even matters. It’s all superficial. What matters is the fact that this fucker hurt Blair, and he deserves to feel even an ounce ofthe pain she feels. He deserves to face the truth. That someone knows the man he truly is.
“Morgan!” I call out when I reach his front door, pounding my fist on the faded wood paneling. “It’s Tuesday so I know you don’t have practice.”
At least, that’s what Blair mentioned once when she was comparing our schedules. He could very well be out, but it’s nine a.m. so I doubt it. Unless he never came home.
When he doesn’t respond, I knock again, louder this time until I hear faint movement inside. The clunking gets louder before Nathan throws open the door, his glare matching my own.
“What the fuck do you want?”
