Blair shakes her head as though unable to say the words, and realization hits me. “Did you sleep with him while we were together?”
She shakes her head again but then nods, more tears flooding her eyes. “After our fight at that party, after the kiss, I left to go to Nathan’s. And I got drunk.”
Fuck. It was that night? A pain shoots through me, and I want to stop her. I want to do anything I can to make the pain go away, but Ineedto hear this.
“Nathan kept me company for the first hour, but someone broke his mom’s favorite vase and he had to take care of that.”Typical, always focused on himself.“He asked his friend to look after me, and we had another drink together while we were waiting for Nathan to come back.”
My muscles tense, as a memory washes over me. “How much did you drink there, B?”
“I didn’t think it was that much, but I’d already been drinking before I got there.”
Bile rises in my throat and my fists clench beside me, my thoughts going back to Nathan’s fucking parties and the rumors surrounding them. “Did Nathan hurt you?”
“No. Of course not.” Blair’s quick to reassure me, presumably noticing my glare. Only it’s anything but reassuring. “Butif I’d been sober, it never would have happened. I don’t even remember how I got there. I was dancing with his friend, and then I was in bed with Nathan. Someone walked in on us and it momentarily sobered me up. But it was after we’d…ah…it was enough to make me bleed.”
My stomach sinks as my entire body numbs. “Fuck.Fuck.” I tug at my hair, my heart pounding so hard I can hear it in my ears. “This is my fault,” I whisper. “I knew it.I knew.”The words feel heavy as they leave my lips, full of the weight I’ve been carrying by hiding that asshole’s past but never confronting him about it.
“I’m sorry. It—”
“This is not your fault.” I cut her off, pulling her into my arms as anger wells up inside of me. “You weredrunk, Blair. Who was the friend? That gave you the drink? That fucker took—”
“I don’t remember who it was. But—”
“No fuckingbuts,” I yell, moving away from her, and immediately regret it when she flinches. “I’m sorry.” I flex my hands, trying to stop myself from clenching while rage vibrates through my body. “What I mean to say is that you were under the influence, and Nathan took advantage of you. Even if you think you might have consented.”
“You don’t know that. He—”
“You don’t know either.” With my teeth clenched, I do all that I can not to raise my voice, but it’s a struggle. Blair’s not to blame for this. She doesn’t deserve any of my wrath, but someone does. Cade and I suspected Nathan and his friends of drugging girls. No, weknewit. Deep down, we did. And yet we never said a word.
But would he do that to Blair?
Blair sighs and her gaze shifts to just above my shoulder, refusing to meet my eye. “He’s self-centered but he’s not a bad guy, Zane. I wanted to be there with him that night. I just didn’t want to go that far.”
My shoulders drop and I fall back against the wall, running a hand though my hair. I did this to her. Like everything else. My silence broke her. And she has no idea.
“After that night, I pushed it from my mind and told everyone who asked that you were my first. I even tried to convince myself.” She smiles, but I can’t bring myself to smile back.
“I’m sorry for making you relive it again, but Blair, he hurt you. You were dru—drunk. You—”
“He’d been flirting with me from the moment I arrived, and I liked it, Zane. We were both drunk. It happens.”
“It doesn’t just happen, you—”
“I didn’t tell you this because I thought he hurt me; I told you because I thought I hurtyou.”
“B, if he cared about you at all, he never—”
“That’s not what’s important here, Zane.”
“It’s pretty fucking important from where I’m standing.”
“Zane—”
“I don’t understand how you—”
“Zane, stop!” Blair’s voice rises and I freeze.Jesus. She’s breaking and I’m letting my anger take over.
“I’m sorry.”
