My mom reaches out and places her hand on top of mine, comforting me. “Everything will be okay,” she says with a slight smile.
I sure hope so. I’m taking a chance and assuming that Liam will understand, because he’s older and more mature. But even so, some people can take heartbreaks harder than expected.
Blakely
I walk into Liam's house. The heat of the house swarms me, making me sweat even more than I already am from all the nerves running through my body. There’s a lingering scent of food coming from the kitchen. Liam stands in there, preparing dinner. Most likely for us. I watch him with a heavy, twisted ache in my chest. I never knew breaking someone's heart would hurt me so much. My heart was always the one being broken. I doubt all the douchebags that broke my heart felt this way. Being on the other side of things feels different.
I’m doing the right thing, so why does it hurt so much? I never wanted to break someone's heart—especially his. He was the one who came into my life when I had given up on everything. He was the one who helped me heal after all the heartaches. Not only did he bring love back into my life, but he also reminded me of what it should feel like after I abandoned it.He healed a broken heart he didn’t break, and now I’m here to break his.
“What’s wrong?” Liam says, startled when he sees me standing quietly in the kitchen with tears streaming down my face. I swallow the lump in my throat as he pulls me into his arms. “Is Amari okay?” Of course, that’s who he would ask about. He’s always been so thoughtful with her.
I shake my head while facing his chest. I can’t bear to look at him, but I know I need to.
“Where’s Amari?” he asks.
I lift my head a little. “At my mom’s.” I asked my mom to keep Amari over night while I do this. She doesn’t need to see or hear any of this. I told her I would be back with a bag of her stuff. She nodded at me with understanding.
Liam shifts back and looks down at me. He brings his thumb underneath my chin and raises my head to face him. “We need to talk,” I say.
His face softens and his lips press together. He nods his head, let’s go of me, and turns his back on me. His shoulders slump over, and his head hangs low. I reach up and touch the back of his arm. He throws my hand off, turns around, and says, “I already know what this is about.” His red-rimmed eyes glare with a mix of pain and resentment.
“Can we sit?” I ask softly. My whole body is trembling, knowing what I’m doing to him.
He pulls out a chair at and slumps down on it. “How long have you known?”
“Known what?” I’m confused by what he’s referring to.
“That you’re still in love with Kai.”
Those words hit me like a punch to the gut, because it finally confirms that he’s seen it, too, just like everyone else. I open my mouth to respond, but the words don’t come out. What do you even say in this situation?
He looks away, his hand pressed against his chin. “I kept telling myself it was co-parenting. I convinced myself it was,” he says, his voice breaking.
I swallow hard, reaching out to him before I stop myself and bring my hand back. What’s the right move here? “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I whisper. “It took me this long to see it. I know it’s not fair to you.” I choke back my tears.
He takes a shaky breath, still refusing to meet my gaze. “No. It’s not.” He finally looks at me, his eyes glossy.
A wave of guilt crashes over me. “None of this that you’re going through is fair. It’s not fair that I let you watch the life I created with Kai and Amari. It’s something I’ll always regret because I should have seen it sooner,” I murmur, hating how true this is. “But it’s not fair to me, Kai, or Amari to give up on the closeness I worked so hard to have with them so Amari could have somewhat of a normal life with both of her parents.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I understand what you saw between us and why you didn’t like our co-parenting, but I was young, Liam. It’s the only thing I knew I was doing right. And yeah, my co-parenting may not be the norm. It may have caused Kai and I to never get over one another, and I’m sorry you had to watch that, but I’m not ready to give that up.” I wipe the tears that have fallen and clear my throat. “The truth is, I gave my heart away to someone a long time ago, and I never really got it back.”
He lets out a sigh, standing up. His whole body is stiff. “Did you ever love me?” he asks, almost in a whisper, before turning toward the kitchen window.
“Of course. I still do,” I say, raising my voice a little. I can’t believe he’s questioning my love for him, but I also can’t blame him. “You brought so much back into my life that I had given up on?—”
“A lot of good that did,” he cuts me off with a bitter laugh. “I’m the one being left.”
"Liam, this is all my fault, and I’m so sorry. I was too blind to see anything, and in the process, you got hurt. I don’t know how I’ll ever forgive myself, but I’m doing what I feel is right. It’s not fair to you if I continue this relationship.”
Without looking at me, he nods his head and walks out of the kitchen.
My heart feels heavy with guilt as I watch him walk away. The pain in his face was so hard to witness, but I made the right decision, if not for me, for him. He deserves someone to love him fully. Now I only hope that he can forgive me and move on from all this without too much heartache.
Looking over my shoulder, I see Liam shut the bedroom door. What do I do next? It feels like I need to ask permission to make any sort of move. I stare at my surroundings, feeling out of place here. This was once my home. A home I shared with someone so special. Someone who brought the best out in me when I needed it the most. This home looks the same, but it feels so different now.
What feels like a lifetime later, I’m still sitting in the same spot as Liam comes out of the bedroom with a duffle bag in hand. “What are you doing?” I ask as I get up from my chair.
“I’ll get a hotel and give you time to figure out where to go,” he says with his gaze low.
“You don’t have to leave. I can get my things when you’re at work, so I won’t be in your way.”
