“I’m not sayingheshouldn’t spend holidays or celebrations with Amari. But why do you two always have to do them together? Why can’t she split her day between the two of you like normal divorced couples?” he says, frustrated. “Maybe not to you, but to me, it feels like you’re still emotionally attached to him. And that hurts. It makes me feel like I’m second to him, like I’m competing with your guy’s history.” His glares at me. “It’s not fair to me.”
I didn’t realize how much my connection with Kai was affecting him. I’m not sure if I’ve been emotionally cheating, but I can’t deny that something’s been pulling me toward Kai lately. Whether it’s nostalgia, unresolved feelings, or just the comfort of familiarity, that pull is creating a distance between me and the man I’m supposed to be building a future with.
Is it me? Is the relationship I wanted with my daughter's father not a realistic relationship? Liam isn’t the only man that has had a problem with it. Everyone else I’ve dated did too. I thought everyone else was immature and didn’t know how co-parenting works. I never thought this conversation would come up with Liam. He has always been so sure about everything. I never thought this bothered him—I never thought itwouldbother him.
Maybe it is me?
I take a deep breath, the guilt heavy in my chest. “I didn’t mean for you to feel that way.”
He looks at me for a long moment. “Then we need to figure this out,” he says sternly. “Because I can’t be in a relationship where I feel like I’m competing with someone else. I need to know that I’m enough for you.”
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes as his words sink in. I know he’s right, and I know I have to make a choice. Either set clear boundaries with Kai and focus on the relationship I’m in, or risk losing the man who’s always stood right beside me. But as I sit here, I can’t help but wonder if I can truly set boundaries with Kai.
Blakely
“What are we going to do today?” I ask Amari as I set down the plate of pancakes I made. Today is Sunday, and Amari goes back to school tomorrow. It’s been a tradition that we spend the whole day together and have our own little sleepover in the living room. It’s a tradition, mainly for me, since I’m usually a wreck when I send her back to school. Over the years, though, I’ve gotten better, even though I hate not seeing her as much as I do in the summer.
“Emma and I want to hang out.”
Her words cut me deeper than any blade could. “What?” I mumble, trying to process what she said.
“Yeah. Since it’s our last day before we go back to school, we want to play,” she says, as if she doesn’t remember that we always spend this day together.
Silence spreads through the kitchen. I turn my attention back to the pancakes, at a loss for words.
“Mom.”
“Hmm,” I say, still focused on my pancake.
"So, can I?” she asks, grabbing her cup of orange juice and taking a sip, staring at me with the cup between her eyes.
“We always spend this day together.” It’s always been our thing, and now she doesn’t want to hang out with me. I knew this day would come, but not this soon. I expected her to choose her friends over me once she hit her teens.
“Yeah, but we do that every year.”
Oh, God. She’s cutting me even deeper. “I thought you liked it.”
“I do, but we can play when I get home from school tomorrow.”
Her words hang in the air. The little girl, eager for our traditions, is slipping through my fingers. I force a smile, my heart heavy. “Okay. That’s fine,” I say, turning back to the pancakes.
Me: You won’t believe what our daughter just did.
Kai: What?
Me: You know how we always spend the day before her first day back to school together? Well, she chose her friend over me.
Kai: I don’t get what’s wrong here.
Of course he doesn’t.
Men.
Me: This isn’t supposed to happen until she’s in her teens. Teenagers choose their friends over their parents. She’s eight, and she’s already at that stage. My heart hurts.
Kai: I’m sorry. What can I do?
As I’m staringat the text Kai sent, wondering what he could do, the conversation between Liam, and I had hits me. Liam asked me to have more boundaries with Kai. Even though I didn’t completely agree with what he wanted, I never said no either. It’s like second nature to pull my phone out and text Kai to tell him how I feel.
