Thankfully, Amari is good out in public. She makes it easy for me to take her places. Since she’s only three months old, I keep her in her car seat next to me in the booth and rock her here and there. She’s more aware of lights, sounds, and objects now. Her brown eyes are always curiously looking around. It’s the cutest thing to see her surpass different milestones.
IHOP on a Saturday morning is busy with chatter. The aroma of freshly-brewed coffee mingles in the air with the sweet scent of warm pancakes. I ordered a stack of pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream. Also, a cup of coffee. Since no one can tell me no on that one anymore.
“Mmmm,” I whisper as the buttery pancake melts in my mouth. It was a good idea to get out of the apartment. If I were still there, I would have been sitting there fuming over everything. I needed this distance from Kai. They saydistance makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe this will help Kai see that what he’s doing is hurting me.
Hurtingus.
Paige: Hey r u okay? Kai is looking for you.
It’sfive o’clock in the evening now. Amari and I have had such a fun day. I need to do this more often with her. She’s like my little best friend who tags along with me everywhere. Well, she kind of has no choice, since she can’t walk or talk yet.
Kai has been texting me for the last two hours; he keeps asking where I am. It took him until late afternoon to figure out I was gone. I missed his calls the first hour he was trying to get a hold of me. Not on purpose. I gave up on him calling us once I had been gone all day and shoved my phone into the diaper bag.
Amari and I went to the park after breakfast. I walked her around in the stroller, and then we laid out on the grass while she slept. The mid-October sun and the soft breeze is making for the best day.
Now we’re sitting at the food court people-watching. Well, I’m the one people-watching. Amari is on my lap with her back to my chest as she floats in and out of sleep.
Me: I’m fine
I didn’t mean to ignore Kai, but then, right before I was going to answer his text, I put my phone away and thought he could worry for once. It’s only been two hours, and he’s already reached out to Paige. I wonder how he would react if we switched roles and I was out partying all night.
Paige: Where R U? Kai has been calling me worried.
I roll my eyes.
Me: I’m at the mall.
Paige: Is everything ok?
Paige: Do u want me to come down there?
Paige: Do I need to kick Kai’s ass?
I chuckle. She’s the best.
Me: I’m good. I’m heading home soon
Not long after, I pull into the driveway and Kai comes running toward me as I park the car. “Where have you been?” Kai asks.
Ignoring his stare. I walk right past him and go over and get Amari out of the car.
“Here. Let me take her.” He grabs Amari from me.
He places her on the floor once we’re in the apartment, reaches in, and gets her out of her seat. He raises Amari toward his face and rubs his nose against hers. “I miss you. Where did mommy take you all day?” he asks sweetly.
I’m not sure how he can miss her all day when he sleeps all day.
“Where did you go?” he asks, his mouth downturned.
“Out.”
He sits by me on the couch. I grab Amari’s hands, slightlyshaking them. “Say, Mommy and I had a fun day out. Just us girls,” I say in a baby voice. Her eyes pop open wider, and she grins from the sound of my voice.
“You’re not going to tell me? I was worried sick. I wake up and the apartment is empty, and then you don’t answer any of my calls or texts. I even reached out to Paige in case you were with her.”
“How does it feel to be on the other side of things and worry?” I say, still avoiding his gaze.
“I’m sorry, Blakey?—”
