“Wait, wait…” Kage felt sick. His stomach was flip-flopping, and his head became heavy as if he’d caught a terrible cold within seconds. Finley’s negative thinking was as bad as his own.
Here we go.
“I wasn’t alone in the car during the accident.” Kage watched Finley freeze. Was he even breathing? “My boyfriend…my Dom was driving. He didn’t make it.”
Finley released a choked sound and reached over the table. Kage placed his hand in the big, calloused palm of the man who sucked all his nightmares and dreams to the surface. Now, it wastime to show them to Finley and let him decide if he wanted to assist Kage in wading through them to make sense of his life.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know—”
“I keep it to myself on purpose. My job is to fulfil people’s fantasies. My clients can’t know I’m just a shell. But you—” Kage took a sip of his tea, relishing the burn going down his throat.
“I’m here.” Finley squeezed Kage’s hand, propping his elbow on the table, ready to listen.
I don’t deserve you, Finley.
“By the time I woke up after the surgeries, it was a week after Rohan’s funeral.”He bled out while trying to wake me up and pull me out of the car.If only I hadn’t distracted him.“I was dealing with my injury and with him being… gone.” Kage looked through the window, at people rushing through the street to tackle their own problems, unaware that Kage was opening a wound that had never truly closed. “Being on pain meds didn’t help what was happening in my head.” He’d been consumed by fog and pain both physical and mental, unable to surmount either.
“That was eight years ago. After two years of surgeries and rehab, I joined the Handcuffs as a Dom in training, then a full-fledged Dom. I finally found the outlet for my physical needs at the club, even if it was in a new way. But I miss him every day; his friendship, his advice, and just him.” He looked at Finley, and the expression of openness, not pity, filled him with hope. “This is going to sound fucked up, but when you came to the stage, I knew from your posture and behaviour that you were new to the scene, yet eager. The way you submitted that day, gave away control, and followed instructions was beautiful. You know what was the first thing I thought? That Rohan would have adored you as a sub.” He released a dry laugh to cover the lump forming in his throat. “And the more I got to know you, I realised he would like you and me together. I don’t need his approval—hecouldn’t give it anyway—but that thought pulled me to you even more during our scene.”And that’s why I had to kiss you.
Finley nodded, his eyes glassy and full of understanding. “How did you meet?”
Kage breathed in relief at Finley’s reaction. “At uni in London. It was my first year of business and he wanted to be a doctor. But you can say we bonded over human anatomy.” He smiled at the memory of evenings studying together and nights spent fucking. “He was open about his interest in the scene from the start and I was intrigued. So we played a little at home, before coming to the club so we could both learn more. I was a bratty sub, always challenging him and keeping him on his toes. We grew into the scene as a unit, following instructions from the friends we made at the club. I learnt most of what I know with him back then.”
“That’s why you’re so good at it. You know how it feels to want to submit.” Finley said it as if he connected pieces to something that had been haunting him.
“Maybe. I feel a sub’s needs.” Kage touched his necklace, feeling the padlock under his fingertips, remembering the pull into submission that had dissipated over time. “That’s why my forms are so detailed. I need to know the tiny important bits to see the scene from a sub’s point of view before I start planning.” He watched Finley’s brow crease in thought, then he opened his mouth as if to ask a question, only to close it. “No, I’ve never submitted to anyone after…him. And I still don’t want to. That part of my life is closed.”
“Submission is behind you, but how about the rest?” Finley asked, his expression serious, his hand pointing to his chest.
“I’m still working through it.”
“Alone.”
“Yes. But so are you.” Kage wrapped Finley’s large hand in both of his. “I came here to say something completely opposite but if you’d be willing… I’d like to work through it withoutlosing you.” His throat hurt from the volume of emotions he was holding in. It had been a stupid idea to meet in public.
“And you won’t push me away the first moment you feel uncomfortable?” Finley narrowed his eyes.
“I promise.”
Finley sighed. “I believe you, goddammit.”
“I set boundaries so tall, I didn’t see you sneaking past them. No one did that for eight years.”
“We can remain like this, if you prefer.” Finley waved a hand between them as if that explained anything.
“Spending quality time together and fucking?”
“Yeah.” Finley hid his face behind his teacup.
“That’s still dating.”
“That’s even better.”
The padlock necklace burned his chest and Kage scratched where it lay against his skin. “I’m a broken man, Finley. In more ways than one.”
“So am I.”
“And you think we could work as a couple?”
