“Whoa. I’m awake now. Is Finley okay?” Mat cleared his throat, and a rustle followed as if he was sitting up. “I swear someone will have their arms and legs broken.”
“It’s me. That would be me.” Kage bit his lip in amusement.
He had many reasons to confide in Mat, even if he wasn’t sure if his friend would be able to help him. To say that partying with Mat during their uni days had been an adventure would be an understatement. Between the orgies at his uncle’s mansion and testing the kink waters at The Golden Handcuffs, Kage had seen Mat’s adventurous side. Mat may have been wild, but he was also loyal to a fault, always keeping an eye on his cousin back when, and willing to pull strings whenever anyone from his inner circle was in trouble. His protectiveness extended to his husband, Peyton, and friends too, Finley amongst them.
“You? What did you do to him?”
No point beating around the bush. He needed an opinion. “I had a drop when we had sex.”
“During a scene?”
“In my private room.”
Mat whistled low. “Fuck, mate. That’s rough. Tell me what happened. Oh shit, I woke up Peyton. One sec.” The background noise became muffled, as if Mat had dropped his phone into the bedsheets, but his tone was affectionate even if Kage couldn’t hear the words. Peyton’s voice joined his, and a giggle followed. They were disgustingly in love. Was that in Kage’s grasp with Finley? Mornings together, breakfasts, kisses, sex whenever they felt like it? It all sounded like an impossible dream.
Yet Mat lived it.
“I’ll eat that! The pancake and your ass!” Mat’s voice became clearer, then he spoke to the phone. “Sorry, I’m back now. So you said you had a scene before and it went great despite him being a newbie at this but fuck me, Kage, you’re really into him, aren’t you?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Uh huh I bet it is. Tell me about the drop.” Mat knew about Kage’s accident, he’d visited him in hospital back then. He may have an idea of what Finley had gone through as well since they spent months working together at the distillery.
Kage relayed his panic and reaction to it, saving Mat the details as much as was possible to still give context.
Mat listened patiently, then sighed. “Okay, it’s complicated, but not impossible to deal with. Finley’s very understanding, but you need to tell him what happened. Also, you two must be pure fire. I mean, he’s not my type, but when I first saw him, I was considering leaning towards hot lumberjack territory.”
“Did you make a move?”
“Nah. Even with my dick desperate for attention on the island, I was set on Peyton only.” The dreamy quality in Mat’s tonefilled Kage with envy. “Listen, I talked to Lucy the other day, and she said that Finley smiles much more often than when he first started. I don’t know what you did, but if you can make that man happy, he fucking deserves it.”
“I’m not sure if I can.” Kage massaged his thigh where a cramp was forming from his pacing the room. “What can I give him if I couldn’t even fuck him?”
“Kage, don’t be a chickenshit.” Mat used his no-nonsense tone. “You have brass balls and now it’s time to fight for what you want. The important thing.”
“Finley?”
“No, dumbass. Your happiness.”
“Is that how you talked to your congregation? I bet they loved you.”
“Fuck off. And they did, thank you very much.”
Kage snorted a laugh. “You’ve always been a bossy little shit. No wonder you made a good priest.”
“Mmhmm. And you’re changing the subject. Tell me, what does your heart do when he looks at you? When he’s kneeling in front of you with trust in his eyes.”
“I think it’s more than trust. And that’s what scares me. I need order and rules. I need to know what’s waiting for me. With Finley, it’s all so uncertain. Sure, he may even agree to sign a contract. But that would protect his body. Not my heart.”
“Coward.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” Mat said.
“I can’t commit.”
“So you say. I was there when you left the hospital after the accident and I know what Rohan’s death did to you. Also, if the contract makes you feel better, then sign it, but you’re both adults, you can agree on shit without a piece of paper. Well okay, Peyton and I got married, so there’s that, but you catch my drift.”
