Beck flinched, taking his hand away.
“I’m sorry,” I said, trying not to panic but failing miserably. I was too much again, and I moved too fast. Soon he’d distance himself from me like everyone else had before him. Fuck, I hadn’t been thinking straight. Ha! I tried to save the situation by grabbing my water instead.
“No. Don’t be.” Beck scratched his invisible stubble. “I want to. Just not here. Not in public. I’m not ready. I don’t know when I will be.”
“I’m not ready either. It’s just so hard to be close and not to touch you.”
“Oh yeah? Your lips are driving me insane.” He licked his own, hinting at what was on his mind.
“Your burgers, gentlemen.” The waiter startled both of us as he placed two packed plates on the table.
“Thank you,” we said in unison, just as my phone vibrated. I pulled it out to see a message and a voice mail. “Shit. I forgot.” I wrinkled my nose. “My new couch is coming today, and the delivery van is on its way. It’s too late to reschedule.” My burger smelled delicious and looked almost as good to eat as Beck, but I had to fuck it up.
“I can go with you.” Beck was already standing.
“I’m sure you have plans or—”
“My plan was to spend the day with you.” Beck’s matter-of-fact words sent tiny, friendly bats fluttering in my stomach.
“’Scuse me!” I waved at thewaiter. “Can we have these to go?”
We ate while walking, which let my mind drift when my face was full of delicious food. I’d sign for the couch, and we’d go somewhere nice. I was sure the day could still be salvaged. If only I could hold his hand, maybe kiss him a little, I’d be content. We both wanted more but behaved like teenagers. Then again, anal sex would be the first time for both of us.
“My apartment is two floors above Elena and Jen’s,” I said as we neared the building. “That was how we’d met about three years ago. I asked Elena out for coffee. When she invited me to her apartment instead, I thought I was lucky.” I laughed, shaking my head. “Then she introduced me to Jen, and we ended up ordering Chinese. We’ve been friends since then, so when I nearly burned the damn building down, they took me in.”
“Like a stray cat.” Beck nudged me with his shoulder.
“Basically.”
We took the elevator to the ninth floor. I let Beck into my disaster of an apartment and asked him to wait.
“I’ll just grab a Coke for us and be back. I’m parched.” I ran the two floors down, packed a few things in the takeaway bag still in my hand, and ran back up.
The moment I returned, the elevator door opened to reveal two men with tree-trunk arms holding my couch.
“You Mr. Moore?” asked one of them in a heavy Eastern European accent.
“Yes, this way, please.”
Inside, Beck was leaning against a half-painted wall but jumped in to help haul the couch to the middle of the living room.
After signing that I received it, I offered the delivery guys cans of soda on their way out. I handed one to Beck, but I couldn’t wait any longer and ripped into the foil covering the couch.
“Aren’t you afraid it will get dirty?” Beck pointed at the pots of paint in the corner.
“I’ll cover it back up. I want to see it first. Come help me.”
We stripped the couch and took a step back to admire it. It was a dark gray corner sofa with huge pillows.
“Are you doing the painting yourself?” Beck inspected the wall where the singed gray ended and the primer began.
“Yeah. I want to cut some corners on the renovation, so I’m doing the easy parts. I’ll have to cough up for the electrician and kitchen installation.”
“Do you need some help?” Beck rolled up a sleeve of his shirt, revealing a muscled forearm.
I swallowed. “Are you offering?”
“Yeah.”
