“Oh my god. Did you burn your kitchen down?” Beck laughed, holding his belly. Fucker.
It was so contagious I joined him, even if apprehension about telling him the whole truth crept into my stomach. “Yeah, basically. The cupboards went up in flames, the ceiling in the entire apartment ended up black from smoke, and everything stunk. Well, and the kitchen was covered in carbon dioxide from myexpired extinguisher.”
Beck snorted. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Thanks. I’m usually not that dramatic, but it was a hard time for me.”Ugh, why did I say that?Talking about it would destroy this moment. Then Beck would judge me for being unable to maintain a steady relationship and completely falling apart when someone broke up with me. Because that was the truth. I proved to be a good temporary boyfriend, but not a prize to be coveted. Or maybe he had the right to know so he could flee far away before he could hurt me? I had the unnerving feeling Beck held too many of my hopes and dreams in his hand and could crush them at any moment.
“What happened?” Beck grew serious, his hand on the napkin he was still hoarding.
“I split with my girlfriend. There was no big argument or anything,” I added quickly, my stomach churning. “We just parted ways and remained friends. The breakup still put me in a funk.” I shrugged, even though I wanted to curl into a ball and escape this conversation. “So that day, I was eating ice cream in front of the TV and didn’t notice I left the stir-fry on the stove until it was too late…”
“Fuck, Cay. I’m sorry.” Beck reached over the table but didn’t take my hand, only patted it awkwardly. “You saw me being a complete mess at that Comic-Con after a breakup. So I wouldn’t blame you for being upset over yours.”
“You didn’t look like a mess to me. A broody hunk, maybe.”
Beck’s eyes gleamed with mirth. “So you decided to swoop in.”
“Yup. It was superhero time.” I grinned, a heavy weight lifting off my chest. He wasn’t judging me. It had been the lost expression on Beck’s face that had drawn me to him initially, but the sizzling connection we had from the very first moment was so much more than a passing chat with a stranger at a con.
“Good ’cause who would suck—” He choked on his words, his eyes blown wide.
“I’m sure you’d find someone. But I’m glad you haven’t.” I gave him the most “I’m serious about this” gaze. “It was fun for me.” An understatement. “And if you ever want to try it, all you need to do is ask.”
Beck fell silent for a moment, licking his lips in a slow, agonizingly sexy way. “What about more?”
My cheeks heated as my cock stirred to attention. “Anal?” I mouthed.
Beck looked around as if there were gay police lurking and listening to suspicious straights. “Yeah.”
“I’d try it. I guess it’s the same as with women. Sort of?” I lifted my shoulders in an “I know as little as you, man” motion. An ass was an ass, right? The blank look on Beck’s face clued me in on his hesitance. “You haven’t?”
“No. You?”
“Yeah. On the giving side.” I skimmed through my sex life in my head. “On the receiving end, not really.”
“What do you mean, not really?” Beck squeaked.
“Well, my last girlfriend slid a pinkie up there once while sucking me off.” I lowered my voice, seeing Beck’s blush as extensive as mine must be. “I came so fucking hard.”
“You didn’t mind?”
“No. I did much more to her, so I didn’t see the issue. Ass play is for straights too, I guess?”
Beck took three gulps of his water and looked like he wanted to dump it all on his head. “But doing it with the same gender isn’t.”
“So what?” I challenged him, even though I saw he wasn’t afraid. The way he squirmed in his seat told me he was as hard as I was because of this conversation. “I want to push some boundaries with you if you’re game.”
Beck sat up straighter. “I’ve been doing some research.”
“Me too. I found this great site. It’s called Queer Tube.”
“You're doing research on a porn site?” He whispered the last part, leaning closer.
“Yeah… You?” Of course I did some other research, but fucking with him was so much fun.
“I’m reading articles about PrEP, douching, and different kinds of lube.”
“Oh, well, that’s useful.” I smirked, reaching over the table. “We could—”
