Nereus.
Chapter Eighteen
Rick
December26th-morning
The soft click of the door closing startled me awake. I reached for Ner, but he wasn’t with me on the couch.
I sat up so fast my head swam, but my gaze zeroed in on a postcard. He left a note. I clutched it to my chest and ran to the door.
I burst outside, but Ner was already in a cab, driving away.
“Please look back, please,” I whispered.
He did.
My heart lurched when he placed his hand against the window, and I waved until the car disappeared behind the corner.
Tears sprang to my eyes, and I ran back inside to avoid collapsing into sobs in my front yard.
“You asshole. I was supposed to drive you,” I said to the card as I sat on the couch. It was for the best. Saying goodbye at the airport would have been worse and Ner knew that.
I burrowed myself under the blanket, curling myself around a pillow. My tears turned into sobs as my whole body shook.
I hadn’t cried like this since the funeral. My parents’ death broke something in me, and until now I hadn’t realized how I’d been isolating myself from people.
Had I been protecting my heart?
If so, it had been a smart move because now, my heart was shattered into pieces.
After what felt like days of drowning in sorrow, I looked at the clock. It had been two hours and Ner would be boarding his plane soon.
I reached for my phone and clicked his name in the chat app. Instead of typing, I looked at the picture of us on the beach he’d sent me. Scrolling up, I skimmed the messages I remembered clearly: talking about movies, texting where we’d meet. I’d miss that. His smile, the joy that radiated from him, making music with him, making love with him…
I hadn’t even told him I loved him. Good. Having him not respond with the same would have been worse than him not knowing how I felt. Besides, we’d be on different sides of the world for the rest of our lives, so what would be the point?
I closed the chat and hovered over the button to call my brother. He’d sent more pics, and I told him about Ner, but I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet.
I called Zoe instead.
One ring, two…
“Are you okay?” she asked, raising her voice above the ruckus in the background. “Wait, one sec. I’ll be right back!” After a bit of shuffling and closing of a door, it quieted around her. “Rick, did something happen?” She sounded worried, and now I regretted bothering her on Christmas.
I had half a mind to tell her ‘Merry Christmas’ and hang up. But recalling Ner’s words about the band being my family changed my mind.
I sniffled. “Ner left.” I pulled the blanket to my neck and curled my legs under me.
“Awww… but he was supposed to leave by now, right?”
“Yes, but… Zoe, I’ve never felt with anyone the way I feel about him. We spent Christmas together and built a snowman at the beach. He decorated the tree with me.” My voice broke and I couldn’t believe my own words. This wasn’t me. And yet, voicing what hurt me was a relief. “He’s special.”
“Okay, so what are you going to do about that?”
I straightened my back and wiped my face on the blanket. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, so you called to tell me you plan to sit on your ass as the love of your life continues to live on another continent?” Uh oh, now she was annoyed.
