We pause, staring at one another for too long of a beat.
I do want to stay out here with Baylor, but I don’t know if he wants that. All I do know is if our relationship, at the very least our friendship, has a chance of being repaired, it’s going to take extreme measures. With Baylor that means wedging myself into his life and staying there.
And figuring out who hurt him and exactly what the fuck has been going on the last thirteen years. I mean, if there is no love waiting in the wings, does that mean there is a chance of something more than friendship between us?
Holding him just for the briefest hug yesterday was all I needed to be completely sure I would give a second chance with Bee all I can. And there is one other thing I know about my strong, silent, former lover.
Wooing Baylor Mann starts at home.
“Mind if I take a look around, Mr. Mann?” Caleb asks and Baylor quickly corrects him to a first name basis and waves his hand in permission.
Nix and Jack in the same room means details iron themselves out quickly. There is a well-appointed pool house for Caleb and Nix to stay in, and other than workers on the ranch who mostly stay far outside the areas where Matt and Baylor live, no one frequently comes out here who hasn’t already been well-vetted. That should take down Caleb’s blood pressure a notch or two.
“This okay with you?” Matt asks Baylor, thinking I can’t hear, but I do.
“It’s great,” Baylor says, and I wish I could believe him, because if I were to guess based on the look on his face, he looks terrified.
“What are you doing?” Nix asks me, throwing me a pillow to slip a case on as I help her settle her things and Caleb’s into the pool house. It is practically a small apartment. It has a small kitchen and wide living room that looks like a place where the kids in Bee’s family play video games and watch movies on the large screen set up for that purpose, there is a large bathroom to serve the pool, and a large bedroom with an en suite.
“Helping you make a bed?”
“Ha.” She throws another pillow at me. How many damn pillows did Baylor have in the closet for guests? Nix follows the pillow with another pillowcase from the plastic storage bag. “You know what I mean. Just going to move in with him?”
I raise an eyebrow at her. “How else am I supposed to write an album and learn how to act for this movie?” Giving my best shrug, I put the pillow against the headboard and reach for the comforter. “Seemed like we were on the same page about everything.”
“Cas. . .”
We continue to make the bed, before I just drop the comforter. “What, Nix? Come on, let me hear it.”
“You love him.”
“I’ve always loved Baylor Mann. Surely you have known that before today. What gave me away? Traveling days out of my way to sit in the shadows at his shows?”
Nix gives a little nod. “That. And how no one else measures up. You are a rockstar, Cas. One of the most famous people in the world. A certifiable household name.”
I groan, sitting on the bed and then flinging myself back on it.
“Shit, this is comfortable.” I think about how easy it would have been to nap earlier. I’m exhausted, this last tour is not something that one good night’s sleep is going to fix. But being in Baylor’s house feels more like home than California. I feel like I could rest here for days, insulated from the burdens of the world.
“Don’t fall asleep on my bed, asshole.”
I keep my eyes closed. “I liked it better when you were telling me how famous and wonderful I am.”
She snorts, and I turn on my side, leaning up on my elbow, facing where she is now sitting.
“Is this okay for you and Caleb? I mean, if you guys would rather be home, I totally get that. I sort of made a decision for you.”
Nix gives my hair a tweak. “Don’t be silly. Caleb and I, we’re nomads at heart. We are happiest on an adventure.”
“True.”
“But, adventurers need a place to land, and this is great. Caleb and I are thrilled to be here. Beats a rental in Denver while you film.”
She stares at me for a long minute. “Why are we really here, Cas?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, and then reopen them. “I want to know what’s here, what’s between us — me and Bee. That’s true. But it’s not just that. I can’t—” My voice breaks, and Nix’s hand wraps around mine. “I can’t keep this up. The schedule. The tour. I need a soft place to land, and Bear Valley has always been that for me.”
Nix’s eyes get glassy. “I thought, on that last tour, that we were going to have to hospitalize you, Cas. It got close, toward the end.”
