Another look as Hallie leaned back, fully on her side now. She smirked. “Do you want to let me know now which points you plan to argue with me on so that I can formulate my own rebuttals?”
“Do you want to let me know why you’re so intent on talking yourself out of us before we’ve even had a chance to become something?” Brynn asked, scratching down Hallie’s stomach, watching in real time as she wavered at the touch.
Maybe it was an unfair card to play, but it was the first time Brynn had ever had this card to use. She was only human. A human who very, very much wanted Hallie to lean into how good this felt. Them, together.
“I’m scared.” Two words came from Hallie’s perfect lips, and they knocked all the wind out of Brynn’s sails. She was quick to want to rebut them, but then Hallie spoke again. “And it’s not your fault. You are honestly perfect, Brynn, exactly the way that you are and exactly because of who you are. But what about me says that I’m the type of woman who takes chances?”
Brynn bit her lip. “I’m not much of a risk-taker either, if you haven’t noticed.”
Hallie slid one of her hands down Brynn’s arm before intertwining their fingers. Usually, that would comfort Brynn, but it didn’t in this case. Because she knew Hallie was about to say something that she didn’t want to hear. “Six months ago, you thought that you’d be going into academia and married to Grant. Five months ago, you took off to Louisiana to volunteer. Then, when you came home, you decided to come to Stoneport. And now you’re here, have been here for a couple months, but… there’s no reason for me to think that this is your last stop.”
“No one can know anything with absolute certainty.” If they could, the world would be a much different place. She wasn’t going to sit here and pretend like she knew everything that would or could ever happen, especially when the newness of the feelings she’d just discovered were involved. All she knew was that no one had made her feel the way Hallie had, and it wasn’t something she wanted to lose.
Hallie nodded, but the shine in her eyes from moments ago had dimmed, like she was trying to make peace with a reality that Brynn herself was still not on board with in the slightest. “These may not seem like risks to you, but we move through the world differently. Stoneport is my home, and it’s where I want to be. I love the inn. Sydney lives here now. I finally got the kitchen sink to stop leaking,” Hallie finished, trying to lighten the moment.
“I love it here, too.” Stoneport had already come to be a place she loved deeply. Where she could imagine herself living for far longer than a few months.
“And I love that you do,” Hallie said, taking a deep breath that made Brynn jittery. “But maybe your life will pull you in a different direction. Maybe you’d want to take a teaching job in California. Or travel the world for a year. Or volunteer in the Peace Corps or something. And I wouldn’t want to be the reason you didn’t pursue any of those things.”
Hallie’s words hit a nerve because of how much truth was steeped in them. Brynn, at varying points over the last few months, had mentioned every single one of those things as hypotheticals that she could consider at some point in the future.
But any hypothetical paled in comparison to the reality she’d been existing in. Here, with Hallie.
Somehow, Hallie’s next words clawed into her even deeper so that elation and frustration mingled, making it a little hard for Brynn to breathe. “This wouldn’t be a fling for me. And it wouldn’t be a good memory that I’d have when you’re gone. I’m already falling for you, Brynn,” Hallie admitted. She squeezed Brynn’s hand, like she was imploring her to understand.
“Do you trust me?” Brynn asked, echoing Hallie’s words from earlier. At the end of the day, that was all that she really needed to know. Everything else could come with time.
She didn’t need a declaration from Hallie that this was going to be forever. Or that Hallie would wake up tomorrow to find all of her fears and concerns had disappeared.
All she needed to know was that Hallie wanted her in the same way she wanted Hallie.
If she had that, Brynn could be brave enough for the both of them while she waited for Hallie to see what was becomingclearer to her by the day: that this was real, and that these feelings weren’t going anywhere.
Hallie nodded, wide eyes unblinking like she was taking an oath. “I do. A scary amount.”
“Then, can that be enough for now? That we trust each other and enjoy what’s happening between us? And that you believe that I would never abuse your trust in me or take it for granted?” Brynn let out a light laugh and a crooked smile. “I know that the last six months of my life haven’t been the most stable, but I promise you, Hallie, this—us—is something that I want. And I’ll do anything to make it work. Let me show you that.”
Brynn had never considered herself impetuous or flighty or capricious or whimsical or any other word that conveyed someone who moved through life carelessly. In her own mind, she was the ultimate pragmatist. She thought things through with precision and focus and regimented scientific inquiry.
She asked hard questions because she needed to make sure she had all the information and got to the most accurate conclusion.
But now it was Hallie asking the hard questions, when all Brynn wanted to do was push forward and follow the path they’d stumbled down for as long as she could. Maybe forever, but Brynn wasn’t going to say that right now.
Hallie leaned into Brynn, taking a deep breath as she snuggled against her chest. “Just that simple?”
“Not many things in life are simple, but the way I feel about you is. I want you, Hallie. And just about the only thing that I’m sorry for is that I waited to spring that on you until you caught me masturbating.”
Hallie laughed and nuzzled in closer. She took a long inhale against Brynn’s chest before she leaned back, their stares meeting. Hallie, like this, took Brynn’s breath away. “It’s probably for the best. Who knows how long we would havecircled around one another? I mean, would you have made the first move?”
Brynn tickled Hallie’s sides, which caused her to squeal and try to squirm away. It gave Brynn the upper hand as she deftly rolled Hallie on her back. She maneuvered herself on top, slotting their thighs together.
She was already addicted to hearing Hallie’s rushed exhale.
“I did make the first move,” Brynn argued. “I asked you to stay.”
“If we’re getting technical, I walked into the room. To comfort you, by the way. I thought that you were having a nightmare.”
Everything in Brynn’s body softened, as the moment went from sexy to sincere in the blink of an eye. It was probably for the best. They needed to take things slowly, even if all Brynn wanted to do was chase the feelings she’d experienced earlier.
