It was crazy to consider that not only was she spouting off facts during her postcoital bliss, but Hallie was just letting her ramble. If anything, she was encouraging Brynn by playing along. It was, just like everything else between them, so ridiculously easy.
This was everything Brynn had ever wanted, and the craziest part was that she hadn’t even known she’d been looking for it.
“Is this going to change things between us?” Brynn asked, unable to hold the words in as soon as they popped into her brain. Which, whether helpful or not, was starting to fire normally again.
The hands that had been massaging into Brynn’s shoulder stilled as Hallie looked down at her again. “Do you want it to change anything?”
Brynn considered the question. She wanted it to change things in the ways that meant that they got to keep doingthis—lying together in bed, exploring their attraction to one another. But she absolutely didn’t want to let it disrupt the closeness that they’d developed over the last few months. “I guess I see what’s happening between us as a continuation of what’s already been happening. At least, that’s how I’d like to think about it.”
Hallie mulled over the words, but Brynn was relieved when she started massaging her shoulder again. “We’re friends who are attracted to one another. We live together, for right now. You are just coming off a very… intense”—was the hesitant word that Hallie seemed to settle on—“engagement. We sort of skipped over the whole dating slash making sure we want the same things part.”
Brynn was about to respond when she felt Hallie’s inhale, and she held back as Hallie spoke again. “The whole point of you coming to Stoneport was to regroup and date and figure outwhat you want to come next. Do you think that this happening,” Hallie asked, pointing between them, “is going to dampen your ability to do that?”
Easing up on her elbow, Brynn gave Hallie a hard look. “Are you trying to give me an out?”
“No,” Hallie groaned, rolling her body into Brynn’s. Brynn wanted nothing more than to wrap her other arm around Hallie, too, and get completely lost in how good it felt to be so close. Inhaling Hallie’s scent. Touching the smoothest skin she’d ever experienced.
But none of those desires, no matter how potent, changed the fact that Brynn needed answers. “Then whatexactlyare you saying?”
“You just have a lot more in flux right now than I do. And I don’t want this—us—to distract you from exploring it,” Hallie said against Brynn’s chest.
Brynn shook her head in violent opposition. “Youaren’t a distraction. Why would you think that?”
Because, really! Why would Hallie ever think that?
Moments passed as Hallie breathed silently against Brynn’s chest. Finally, she spoke quietly. “Maybe not a distraction. But what happens when you move on from this period in your life? Move on from Stoneport? I was thinking about it outside…”
“And?” Brynn asked softly, realizing the weight of the moment hung between them. Whatever Hallie was about to say mattered a heart-palpitatingly enormous amount.
She brought one of her hands up, gently cupping Hallie’s head before running her fingers through her soft locks.
For a brief few seconds, they existed in this perfect space, where their breathing was in sync and all that Brynn could think about was Hallie wrapped up in her arms, allowing herself to be supported and adored.
This was what Brynn wanted. It was all she wanted, in fact.
“I’m not the kind of person that people change the entire trajectory of their lives for.” Hallie’s words hit somewhere deep inside of Brynn, making her whole chest hurt.
She could only pull back and look at Hallie, trying to understand how it was possible for someone as amazing as her to feel this way about herself. Scanning Hallie’s face, she clocked where the perfect dimple on her left cheek should be, though Brynn couldn’t see it because Hallie wasn’t smiling. Her hazel eyes were almost brown in the dim room, even as they were clear and present with the heaviness of this moment.
And sure, Brynn was wildly, life-alteringly attracted to Hallie, as evidenced by what they’d just done, but it was so much more than that to her.
It just really sucked that Hallie couldn’t see that. Didn’t see herself through Brynn’s eyes.
An intense blush flamed across Hallie’s cheeks. “You have got to stop looking at me like that.”
Brynn shrugged, still taking Hallie in. “I can’t. I think you’re beautiful. And I was just thinking about all the reasons that I am so drawn to you. All the reasons that I think we’d be pretty great together.” If Hallie was going to delude herself into thinking this wasn’t a good idea, she wasn’t going to get any help from Brynn. “Talk to me, Hallie. The only possible thing that could make me regret what just happened would be if this changes the good parts of who we are together.”
Hallie’s sigh was heavy with feeling. “I think there was a part of me that, even though I wanted this—so badly—I just assumed that I was making it all up in my head. That if everything came to a head, you’d tell me that I was mistaken, and then I’d be able to work through my feelings for you.”
Brynn ran her fingers along Hallie’s cheek, stopping just short of her lips, which she drew her thumb across slowly. “Well,I’m sorry to disappoint you, but the feeling of attraction is wholly mutual.”
She loved the indulgent sigh that Hallie let out. She accepted the touch until she shook her head, like Hallie was clearing her confusion away. “I mean, look at this from my perspective. It’s like I’ve suddenly found myself in a Hallmark movie. A wealthy?—”
“I’mnot wealthy,” Brynn interrupted, even though she knew how it made her sound. She could already feel Hallie gearing up to showcase all the ways in which they were different instead of focusing on the ways they were so incredibly complementary.
“You just bought, like, five grand worth of hats and board games today, Brynn. And I know how much we both make. Don’t argue with me on that point,” Hallie finished, leveling her with a stare. “Anyway, as I was saying, a wealthy, beautiful, highly educated woman breezes into town to heal her broken heart?—”
“My heart wasn’t broken.” Brynn had been embarrassed. Offended. Angry. But she wasn’t broken-hearted. Not by a long shot. She hadn’t even known the depth with which her heart and body couldfeeluntil recently.
