FOUR
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LAWRENCE
There was something wrong with me. Something perverted and selfish. I’d suspected it the day I walked into my garage and found Gabi with her hands all over Connor’s arm. I should have been jealous of the way she touched him. I should have wanted to get them as far apart as possible. That would have been a normal reaction.
Of course, I wouldn’t have acted on it if I had felt that way. I didn’t want to be one of those boyfriends who lost it every time his girl talked to another guy. But I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t have held my breath. I shouldn’t have stood there, watching them, hoping they’d move closer. I shouldn’t have spent hours afterward thinking about what they’d look like if they kissed each other.
I’d had a dream that night. It had been a confused mess of me, Gabi and Connor together. One moment I’d been kissing Gabi, my hands running over her curves, and suddenly the sharp edge of Connor’s jaw had been caught between my teeth and I’d licked my way down his chest. Gabi’s breasts had filled my palms while Connor’s hard dick rubbed against my arse. I’d woken drenched in sweat and come, my breath sawing in and out of my lungs. I’d tried desperately to push the thoughts away in the weeks since, but discovering Connor’s love for Gabi had only made them more intense.
“What’s with the death glare?” Frank’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
I blinked at him in question. “What?”
He rolled his eyes. “You’ve spent the last five minutes glaring at Connor, who hasn’t even noticed because he’s too busy staring at Gabi. The three of you are a bad teen movie waiting to happen.”
Inside, Gabi and her friends were dancing up a storm in her living room. Her parents had moved all the furniture out of the way and added some portable disco lights. With the music blaring, it was as close to a nightclub as a suburban living room would ever get.
Connor stood in a nearby doorway, a plastic cup clutched in one hand, his gaze fixed on the mass of heaving bodies in the living room. Only one person in the crowd actually held his interest, though, and he watched her with the same look of barely restrained longing I used to think he reserved solely for me.
My jaw tightened as I turned my back on the party, returning my attention to the darkened lawn. “It’s nothing.”
Frank and I had spent the better part of the night manning the front door of Gabi’s graduation party, making sure no gatecrashers made it past the porch. It seemed surreal that a whole year had passed since Frank and I were in the same position. Celebrating our newfound freedom from school uniforms and the tyranny of homework. I’d been determined never to be trapped by four walls again. As it turned out, even studying to be a personal trainer had its classrooms. But now I had my certification, I spent most of my time getting my clients outside and exercising in the fresh air. I loved every part of the job. The triumph on a client’s face when they realised they were capable of more than they’d believed. The pride when they attained a new personal best or told me they could now keep up with their kids at the park. I’d never tire of the gratitude on their faces as they told me I’d changed their lives for the better. That was all I wanted to do, help people reach their potential. It’s what I’d wanted to do for Connor.
These past few weeks, though, simply being around him tied me in so many knots I could barely focus. Ignoring my attraction to him was futile. Pretending not to notice the adoration in his eyes when he laughed at my jokes didn’t work anymore. Perhaps we would have been better off if I could have removed myself from his life entirely, but one person held us together, and neither of us would be willing to give her up.
“Connor’s in love with Gabi.” I hadn’t meant to blurt the words quite so baldly, but I couldn’t take them back now. “Did you know?”
To my surprise, Frank let out a bark of laughter. “Everyone knows, except maybe Gabi,” he scoffed. “She and Connor have always been a bit clueless when it comes to each other.”
I dragged in a sharp breath, my body tensing. “Meaning?”
Frank gave me a wary look. “Nothing, mate. It’s not important.” He probably thought the curtness of my tone was fuelled by jealousy or anger. I wished that were true. It would have made me less of a freak.
“What aren’t you telling me, Frank?”
A heavy silence fell between us, while he considered his response. “Are you going to lose your shit about this?”
“I’m not going to lose my shit,” I hissed, frustration burning in my gut.
After another long hesitation, he finally spilled the beans. “About a year ago, well before you and my sister started making goo-goo eyes at each other, Gabi and Connor were crushing on each other pretty hard. They couldn’t be in the same room together without getting tongue-tied. Gabi was all embarrassed about it and ended up hiding out in her room a lot. I’m pretty sure Connor thought she was mad at him or something, so he stayed away. They were sixteen at the time and, like I said, clueless. We all figured they’d get their act together eventually and start dating, but then,” he gestured towards me, “you happened.”
The blood rushed in my veins as I stood there, my mouth open in shock. “You’re saying Gabi has been into Connor this whole time?”
“Nooo,” Frank dragged the word out, shaking his head in emphatic denial. “As far as I know nothing ever happened between them. Gabi fell for you and Connor got shuntedwayback into the friend zone.” He slapped an overly enthusiastic grin on his face. “Trust me, the kid missed his chance. You don’t have anything to worry about.” Thrusting a finger at me, he added, “Don’t go making a big deal out of it or Gabi will blame me for causing trouble between you two.”
I looked into the eyes of the man who’d been my best friend since primary school. The same man who would turn on me in disgust if he had any idea how turned on I got by the thought of his sister and their childhood friend being sexually attracted to each other. “I won’t say a word,” I assured him.
Keeping my mouth shut would be a lot easier than getting my wayward thoughts under control. What would have happened between Gabi and Connor if I hadn’t gotten in the way? I didn’t want to come between them. What would they do if they knew? How would I even tell them?
“Lawrence, you’re jittery as all hell.” Frank frowned at me, his arms crossed. “I’ve got the door covered. Go find Gabi. Have some fun before you blow a gasket.”
Glancing back through the door, I saw Connor had abandoned his post and I sighed in relief. There was no way I could go near Gabi with him watching. I couldn’t give myself away—not yet, at least. “Are you sure?” I said, glancing back at Frank.
“Yeah, it’s cool.” He nodded. “Get in there.”
With a nod of thanks, I headed straight for the living room. A quick scan of the dancers failed to turn up Gabi. Instead, Connor’s presence leapt out at me from across the room. Sitting on the arm of a couch, he smiled down at some guy who sat on the cushion beside him. The guy reached up to touch Connor’s arm as he spoke, and Connor laughed out loud.
