‘But … you’re keeping it?’
‘Yes, I’m keeping it. Whatever you want to do is fine, but I’m having this baby.’
‘Wow!’ He sank back against the cushions. ‘This is …’ He trailed off, bewildered, raking a hand through his hair. ‘I don’t know what to say.’
Sive felt a pang of sympathy. ‘I know. It’s a lot to take in. But you don’t have to decide anything now. I just wanted you to know, and since you were home, I thought I should take the chance to tell you in person.’
‘Right. Right.’ He nodded, obviously still trying to get his head around the information. ‘So, like … when’s it due?’
‘In May. I don’t have an exact date yet.’
He frowned, tapping his fingers on his jeans as if trying to figure out what to say. ‘So, how are you feeling? Are you okay?’
‘Yeah, I’m fine. It’s all good.’
He just looked at her aghast, seemingly rendered speechless once again. Then he groaned, burying his head in his hands. ‘God, this is …’ He took his hands away. ‘I wish I’d known what this was about.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘I have to get ready to go out soon.’
‘Sorry. It didn’t feel like something I could put in a text.’
‘No, I get that.’
She watched Ben struggling to absorb the news and she tried to make out what he was feeling. But all she could see in his face was blank shock. She could empathise. It was how she’d felt when she first found out. ‘I’m happy about it, Ben. And like I said, I’m not asking you for anything. You can be involved as much as you want – or not at all.’
‘I mean, I’m living in Portugal now, so I wouldn’t be much help with changing nappies and babysitting and stuff like that.’
Sive was relieved to find laughter bubbling up inside her. ‘Well, we don’t have to work out the babysitting arrangements just yet. I won’t be going anywhere without Bean for quite a while.’
His eyes dropped to her stomach and he looked at her wonderingly. ‘Bean?’
‘That’s what we’re calling it.’
His eyebrows shot up. ‘Seriously?’
‘It’s just a placeholder name until it’s born. Obviously as the father you’ll have some input into what we call it.’
‘Father,’ he whispered. ‘God.’
‘I know. It’s weird, isn’t it? Look, why don’t I go and leave you to think about it?’
‘Should we tell my mum?’ he asked, glancing at the door.
‘Why don’t you tell her yourself?’
‘She’ll probably kill me.’
Sive smiled sympathetically. ‘Or me.’ She stood. ‘Oh, and by the way, it’s not called babysitting when you’re looking after your own kid. It’s just being a dad.’
She saw the shock register on his face again at that word.
‘Well, enjoy Harry’s stag. What are you doing?’ She wanted to establish some sense of normalcy, to lighten the atmosphere.
‘We’re going to Kilkenny, staying in an Airbnb for the night.’
‘Well, have fun.’
‘Thanks.’ He gave a wry smile. She knew he wouldn’t be able to think about anything else all day now. He stood and walked with her to the door. ‘I’m not going back to Portugal until Monday, so I’ll see you again before I go, yeah?’
Sive nodded. ‘You have my number. Give me a call whenever you want to talk.’
