“Are you?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” I hate that things are so awkward. “Are you studying?”
He nods.
“I’ll leave you to it.” I turn.
“Casey.”
I look over my shoulder. “Yeah?”
He stands, sits on his bed, and stretches his hand towards me. “Come here.”
I need to be close to him, so I go to him like a bee craving nectar. I lie beside him, tucked against his side, my head on his chest, like I always do. But it feels different. My body is tense. So is his. Even though we’re right next to each other, we might as well be a million miles apart.
I close my eyes. “I hate this.”
After a moment, he strokes my hair like he’s done hundreds of times. But this time is different, more tentative. “So do I.”
I hug him tight. “I’m sorry.”
He stills his hand. “What do you have to be sorry for? I’m the one who played a stupid game with your feelings.”
“Stop.”
“What?”
“Feeling guilty. You don’t need to.”
“I hurt you, Casey.”
“No, you didn’t. You gave me a lot to think about, but that’s not the same at all.”
“Is that what you’re doing? Thinking?”
“Yes.”
He sniffs. Is he crying? “Anything I can help with?”
I recall Auggie’s text.Or you could talk to Emory. What if it’s too late? What if my admission makes things worse between us?
“Not yet. I’ll talk to you soon, I promise. I need time to sort my head out.” I open my eyes and look up. “Can you give me that?”
His chin trembles. “I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk.”
My chest shudders, and a sob escapes me. I never cry, so why am I doing it now? Because Em is willing to give me time? Because he’s promised to be there for me? God, I adore him.
He brushes a tear from my cheek. “Don’t cry. Please.” His voice is desperate.
“I’m sorry. I’m tired, and Josh laid into me for having a bad practice and—” I want to tell you how much I need you, but I can’t because I can’t give you what you need and want, and I don’t want you to be unhappy and know you will be if you choose me.
“Josh is an arse. You had one bad training session. So what? You’ll be back on form on Friday morning.”
“I hope so.”
“I know you. You’re part dolphin.”
