“I know. Not being out is only a small part of it.”
“Then explain it to me. Please.” I sound as desperate as him now. “Because right now, I don’t understand.”
“All right.” His voice is a harsh whisper. “I’ll tell you everything.”
Chapter17
Jett
I let go of Kian and sit on the edge of the bed. I want him to join me, but he stays standing, with his hands shoved into his jeans pockets, his face solemn. His expression is the saddest I’ve ever seen. His carefree smile has never been missing for this long. I hate it. Hate that I’ve upset him.
I rest my arms on my thighs and loosely clench my fists between my knees. I can’t look at him. “Erica is the reason I’m scared.”
“Why?”
“I was in love with her. We were making a life together. I got her name tattooed on my thigh, and we opened a joint bank account, which I was dumb enough to put everything into.”
Kian doesn’t move or speak.
“I proposed to her. She said yes. We picked out a ring together. It was more than I could afford, but she adored it, and I, well, I wanted to give her the world. I had to take out a bank loan to pay for it.” I stare at the carpet. “After I bought the ring, we went out to her favourite restaurant to celebrate. An expensive restaurant. That had to go on my credit card. She showed the ring off to everyone. Told them how happy she was. How lucky she was to have found a guy like me.”
Kian edges closer and kneels in front of me. He puts his hand over my left fist.
“When I came home from work the next day, she’d gone.”
“Gone?”
“Yeah. She’d cleared all her things out of the apartment and emptied our bank account.”
“Shit. Why?”
I suck in a shuddering breath. “According to the police, she’s a con artist, and her name isn’t Erica.” I rub my forehead with a shaking hand and carry on, my voice strangled. “I trusted her. I loved her. I wanted to spend my life with her. But none of it was real. From the moment I met her, every second of our relationship was a lie, and I fell for it.”
Kian wraps his arms around my waist and buries his head against my side. “I’m sorry.”
“We’d moved into an apartment together.”
“I remember. I never saw it, but Rufus told me how swanky it was.”
“Yeah. Swanky. That’s code for expensive. I couldn’t afford it alone, but I’d signed a six-month lease, so I had to cough up. More debt. Erica had wanted to buy new furniture, and I was the stupid idiot who agreed. More debt.” I sob. “I’m drowning in debt, Kian. I’m paying for an apartment I had to leave. Furniture I had to sell at a fraction of the cost because it was too late to send it back. A ring that’s fuck knows where now.” I open my hands and stare at my palms. “I was heartbroken and so fucking ashamed that I’d let myself be taken in by a con artist. So I threw myself into work. Code was something I could control. Something that wouldn’t betray me. I swore I wouldn’t get into another relationship. How could I when I couldn’t trust anyone?”
Kian lifts his head. “Does anyone know what happened?”
“Aside from the police and you? No.”
He puts his hand on my cheek. “You could have told Rufus. He’s your best friend. He would have been there for you.”
I grit my teeth. “I was too ashamed, Kian. Erica took me for a ride, and I was too dumb to realise.”
“No. You weren’t dumb. She’s a con artist. She would have duped anyone.”
I blink back tears. “I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
I stroke his hair away from his face. “These last four weeks with you have been amazing, but I haven’t been able to let myself want more. I’ve used you. I’ve hurt you. And I am so, so sorry for that.” I squeeze my eyes closed.
Kian rests his forehead against mine and runs his fingers through my hair. He makes calming noises as I sob. My shoulders ache from shaking.
