"Yes. It's just…" He squeezes his eyes shut. "You're not him."
"I'm not. Do you want to stop?”
"No," he breathes. "I don't want to. Kissing you is amazing. I didn't think it would be that good."
"I'm glad it was enjoyable."
"You were into it too, weren’t you? You liked it too?" His eyes search mine desperately.
I smile and nod. "Yes. I liked it too." It was probably the best kiss I've ever had, perhaps not technically but emotionally.
We start kissing again. I'm surprised by how into it Callan seems to be and that he’s letting me be in control of our kisses. It’s as if yielding to me is the most natural thing in the world for him. I’m glad he’s able to do it. Surely, it means he's not as broken as he thinks he is.
Eventually, our lips and tongues need a rest, so we cuddle instead. My cock is still hard, as is his, but we don't talk about it or draw attention to it. My eyelids are starting to get heavy, but I realise there are things we haven't talked about. Things I should have asked, except my nerves about the wax play got the better of me.
"How did it go with Niamh today?"
Callan shrugs. "She seemed happy by the time I left."
"That's good."
"I hope so."
"You don't sound so sure."
"She was terse when I arrived this morning, but she was tired. She was better after she slept.”
“I sense abut.”
“I don't think she's connecting with Aidan at all."
I kiss and stroke his hair. "Is that worrying you?"
"She said he'd be better off with me. I'm not sure if she meant it or not."
"How would you feel about that?"
"I don't know. I'm just getting used to the idea of being a dad. At first, I thought I was going to be an absent dad, but then I decided to move, thanks to you and Quinn. I didn't think I'd end up being the one to look after him all the time. I'm not sure how I'd manage to look after a baby and hold down a job, but I guess Niamh would have the same problem. The only difference is that she’ll get maternity pay. I know it's not a lot, but it's definitely better than nothing. Right now, I don't even have a job, let alone somewhere to live."
"You can stay here for as long as you need to."
"I don't think your housemates would be happy about extending that offer to Aidan." He shakes his head. "There's no point in worrying about it now. I don't know if Niamh was being serious. Even if she was, it's something we’d need to talk about before it can happen.”
I swirl my fingertip over his shoulder. "If it came to it, would you have him?"
Callan sucks in a huge breath. "Yes."
I can tell he means it by the conviction in his voice. It makes my heart swell for him even more than I thought was possible.
"I'd figure out a way to make it work. I might have to go home."
"To Dublin?"
"Aye. I think my parents would let us stay with them."
My stomach sinks. Callan has only just come back into my life. We’re only just figuring out what we mean to each other. It's selfish, but I don't want him to go.
"If you and Aidan could stay here, would you?" I know it's not fair of me to ask, but it's also not fair of me to hide the way I'm feeling. "I don't want you to go."
