"I—" He closes his eyes.
I think he’s going to pull away, but then he leans closer, and his lips connect with mine.
15
CALLAN
Rory's beard tickles my skin, which is when my out-of-body experience ends, and I realise I'm kissing a man. Not just any man, Rory. My mind screams at me to end the kiss, to pull away and flee. I'm not sure where I'd go. I'd have to leave the house.
My heart has other ideas. It likes how my lips buzz as they gently touch Rory's. It also likes the way my body tingles. Rory doesn't pull away, but he doesn't kiss me either. I'm not even sure he’s breathing. Then again, I'm not sure I am.
I don't know what possessed me to kiss him or why I don’t want to stop. My thoughts are a whirlwind, bits of debris flying all around, threatening to crash into me at any moment. Right now, I'm safe in the eye of the storm, but it could shift direction any moment and engulf me. What am I doing? I've never wanted to kiss a man before. I hadn't even thought about kissing Rory until I did it.
I break the kiss as blood rushes to my face. My skin heats up to volcanic proportions. I turn away and press my hands to my face.
"Oh, God, I'm sorry."
Rory and I have only just found each other again. Trust me to screw everything up in a thoughtless moment.
Rory stares at me, blinking slowly. He looks like he’s woken from a dream, or maybe he's lost in one. I'm not sure his eyes are even focusing on me.
"Say something," I whisper. My hands are shaking. The pleasant tingling has turned into buzzing hornets in my gut. I feel sick. Not because I kissed Rory, but because this could be the end of our friendship. What have I done?
Rory blows out a breath. "I don't know what to say." He shakes himself. "That was…unexpected."
"Is that good or bad?" My heart is beating ten to the dozen now. My mouth is dry, and my hands are clammy. I feel like I’m going to throw up.
"You tell me."
I jerk my head back. What does he mean by that?
"You kissed me."
I nod slowly. "I did, didn't I?"
"Why?"
I shrug. It's not a question I can answer because I genuinely don't know.
"How do you feel about it?" he asks.
He shrugs. “I think I'm shocked more than anything. I've never wanted to kiss a man before."
He brushes his thumb over the back of my hand. My skin tingles where he makes contact, just like my lips did when I kissed him.
"You're not running away."
I laugh—sort of anyway. The sound is more of a garbled mess, partly amused, partly terrified. "I've noticed that. That doesn't mean I won't. I'm freaking out right now."
"You don't need to." His voice is soft, reminding me why he's my safe place. "It's just you and me."
I stare into his eyes. "I know that. That's why I'm still here."
"Whereas before Stefan was there too?"
I nod.
"What do you want to do?"
