"I'm not."
"Not thinking ahead for when you have kids of your own?" Callan widens his eyes. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean…"
"It's fine. No need to apologise."
Callan’s shoulders relax a fraction. "He has red hair. Are there any names that mean red or flame?"
"There must be." I look up Irish names on my phone. "What about Aidan? It means little fiery one."
Callan stares at me for several seconds. "That's a lovely name."
"That sounds more promising than Liam."
"It is. I think it's beautiful. I hope Niamh likes it."
I hope she does too. "When are you going there?"
Callan checks his watch. "Soon. I need to call my landlord first." He breathes in slowly. "If you need someone to practice on, I'll do it."
"Practice? I'm sorry. You've lost me."
"The wax play. I'm pretty stressed, so if you think it will help me relax, I'd like to help you out."
My heart skips a beat. "Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured into it."
"I'm not. You'd never pressure me into doing anything I didn't want to. It sounds interesting. I need to relax. And you need someone to help. If I don't like it, you'll stop, right?”
"Yes. You'll have safe words."
"Safe words?"
"Yes. They're clearer than stop and no."
Callan smiles. “I’ll take your word for it.”
“Sometimes a sub might say stop or no as part of the scene, so Doms and subs agree on safe words in advance. Words you wouldn’t normally say during sex so there’s no doubt that the sub is asking their Dom to slow down or stop altogether.”
“No doesn’t always mean no?” Callan’s face is lined with tension.
It’s hard to breathe for a moment. I have to get it together. I want Callan to feel safe, not freaked out. “Not in the kink world, no. That’s why safe words exist. Some Doms and subs even have written contracts that clearly spell out what those safe words are and what is and isn’t okay. Consent is everything, Cal. No one who calls themselves a good Dom would do anything their sub hadn’t agreed to in advance.”
Callan breathes out slowly. “Consent is everything,” he repeats in a whisper.
“Everything.”
He looks into my eyes and nods. “I’ll help. I’ll be your wax play model or temporary sub or whatever the term would be.”
I don't know what to say. It was the last thing I ever expected. It wouldn't be kinky. It wouldn't even be sexual. I would be learning. Stefan would be there. And yet the thought of dripping hot wax over Callan's skin makes me forget to breathe.
“You’re sure?”
The tension slips off his face as he smiles. “Yes. I trust you.”
"When?" I ask.
"Whenever. After I return from seeing Niamh and the baby or another day. Whatever works best for you and Stefan.”
"I'll speak to Stefan and see what I can arrange. Thank you."
