“It could be if you want it to be.”
I hitch in a breath. “I do.” I press my hand against his cheek. “I don’t know what it is about you, Rory, but it’s like you’ve woken me up. With you, I have desires I never knew existed. With you, I want to be brave. I want to open myself up to new experiences. I want to feel.”
“I can help you with all that.”
“But most of all, I want to be with you. Heart, mind, soul”—I kiss him tenderly—“and body.”
He clasps my hands and kisses me hard. “I want that too.”
24
RORY
“We could go for a walk to the park,” Theo muses as he cuddles Aidan.
Preston gives him the most loving smile imaginable and ruffles his hair between his puppy ears. “That sounds nice.”
Theo beams at him and then looks at Callan. “Would that be okay?”
“Of course. Thanks for offering to babysit.”
“It’s no bother.” Theo’s eyes widen a fraction. “Is it?” he asks Preston.
“Nope. It’s good practice.”
I’ve never seen anyone look so joyful as Theo. His eyes light up, and I swear he’d bounce like Tigger if he didn’t have a baby in his arms.
His bottom lip quivers. “You mean that?”
Preston laughs, puts his hand on Theo’s nape, and pulls him close so he can kiss his puppy’s forehead. “Absolutely. We’ll be dads one day, I promise.”
Callan rests his head on my shoulder. I loop my arm around him. My heart is almost big enough to burst as I watch my housemates and friends share this adorable moment.
Theo stares into Preston’s eyes and kisses his lips softly. When he looks at us, his eyes are half moons and red is splashed across the top of his cheeks. “We won’t be out for more than an hour, but we’ll take care of Aidan down here after.”
“What Theo’s saying is that you don’t need to feel the need to rush. We’ve got this,” Preston adds.
“Thank you,” Callan says. “I still can’t get over how amazing you all are.”
“It helps that Aidan is so adorable.” Theo nuzzles the baby’s hair with his nose. “Have fun.”
We leave them to get ready for a walk and slip upstairs to my room. Everything is ready. There’s a sheet on the bed, the candles and lighter are set out, and I have a cool box full of ice cubes. I’ve already shut the curtains and put on a lamp, so the lighting is subdued. The blindfold is laid out in case Callan wants to wear it.
He wraps his arms around me. “This looks amazing.”
“Are you ready to relax?”
“Oh, yes.”
I cuddle Callan and kiss his hair. He gets more relaxed every day. Over the last week, he’s been working hard on the demons in his head on his own and with his counsellor during remote sessions. We talk a lot too in the quiet moments when Aidan is sleeping. He whispers his doubts and fears, and I hold him as he processes them aloud. There’s not much I can say or do to help the process except be there for him. I’m a rock he can cling to. An anchor to hold him fast in the stormiest weather.
“Ready?” I ask.
He grins and laughs. “Aye.”
“What?”
“A few weeks ago, I never thought I’d be doing this.” He gestures to the bed. “I didn’t even know wax play existed.”
