“Sure. Whatever you need.”
I put my shoes and coat on, and hand in hand, we leave the house and amble down the street. Stefan is quiet until we reach a park, about fifteen minutes away.
“She said she became an alcoholic and left to get sober.”
I squeeze his hand.
“We were taken into care before she got well, and she decided we were better off without her.” He clenches his jaw and stares straight ahead.
“Do you believe her?”
He shrugs. “I’ve got no reason not to. She says the note she left was for me and Beau, not Dad. She claims he knew why she’d left and that it was him who filed for a divorce.” He bows his head. “She’s been sober for twelve years. She met her husband via Alcoholics Anonymous. Their kids are ten and eight, which I guess makes her story feel more real. She waited until she was sober to start a new family.”
He takes his coat off and lays it on the ground so we can sit on it. He puts one arm around my shoulders and holds my hand with the other. We’re sitting at the edge of a large green common. There are several dog walkers, as well as families playing catch, throwing Frisbees, and having picnics.
“I thought I’d feel better after I saw her and got answers.”
“Don’t you?”
He shrugs. “I’ve gone back to feeling numb. Like Beau told her, I understand her reasons for going, but I don’t think I can forgive her for not coming back.” He breathes in heavily. “I can’t forgive Dad for lying to us either, for letting us believe she didn’t want us.” He wipes a hand over his face. “God, my family is fucked up. At least, my parents are.”
“I definitely wouldn’t describe Beau as fucked up.”
Stefan laughs. “Nor Fraser. And Beau adores Fraser’s family. One of Fraser’s dads is a pilot. His other dad and mum are both cabin crew. Beau loves planes, so he’s in seventh heaven whenever he visits them. I have some amazing housemates too.” He strokes his fingers over the back of my hand. “And I have you.”
My heart quivers. “You do. And I’m pretty sure Dad and Sabella would adopt you in an instant.”
“And Rubin?”
“Yeah. Him too. And don’t forget the rest of our housemates. They’ve all got your back.”
“I know.” Stefan rests his head against mine. “I’m lucky to have you all.”
“Luck’s got nothing to do with it. You’re amazing. We’re lucky to have you in our lives.”
“You realise we’re being really mushy right now?”
“Like peas?”
Stefan cackles. “Please tell me you don’t like mushy peas.”
“Eh, they’re all right.”
A ball lands at our feet, and seconds later, a yellow Labrador careens after it, practically bashing into us before skidding to a halt. It looks at the ball and then at us expectantly, tongue lolling out of its mouth as it pouts.
Stefan picks up the ball and holds it out to the dog. “Aren’t you supposed to take this back to your owner?”
The dog tilts its head and lets out a ruff.
Laughing, Stefan lobs the ball as far as he can. The dog bounds after it.
“Do you think it’ll bring it back?” I ask.
Stefan shrugs. “Maybe it’ll find another mug who’s willing to throw it.” He scans the park. “I wonder where its owner is.”
“Probably looking for it.”
Stefan hugs me tighter, encouraging me to rest my head on his shoulder. “I think I’m ready to stop looking backwards.”
