“Maybe you still are trying to trip me up, but it won’t work. Iknowmy parents can’t section me and drag me back to”—he breathed in harshly—“thatplace.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Jared wasn’t sure he wanted to know either. The way Jag was talking, it was obvious something terrible had happened to him. Hisparentshad done something terrible to him. Jared pressed a shaking hand to his chest. Hadheknown about it? Hadhefailed to protect Jag? Was that the real reason Jag was so angry at him? He felt sick.
“What place?” Kyrone asked.
“Where do your parents want to take you?” Jared whispered.
Jag turned away again, shoulders hunched, arms clenched tightly around his stomach. “Conversion therapy.”
Kyrone gasped. Jared could only stare at Jag. He only knew what conversion therapy was because he’d seen an article on it after his accident. It had been about a film that was being released, about a man’s experiences in the States. He hadn’t even known it was done in the UK. Obviously, it was.
Even though Jag was a stranger, it made his stomach twist into tight knots just thinking about him being subjected to something so inhumane. He cupped his hands over his mouth, taking slow breaths to try to quell the queasy feeling that was gripping him. The pain in his head did nothing to help. Despite his reaction, his emotions were not deepened by recognition or friendship, and he felt the same detachment he did about everyone else in his old life, which scared him.
“I wouldn’t put it past my parents to use you to get to me,” Jag went on. He sank onto the sofa, facing them again. “But I shouldn’t have been so angry, so I’m sorry. I was shocked to see you, and then you denied you knew me and…” He wiped a hand over his face. “I thought I’d ditched my paranoia a while back, but obviously I haven’t.”
Michael massaged Jag’s shoulder.
“Do you still want Jared toprovehe has amnesia?” Kyrone asked coldly.
Jag’s face crumpled into a miserable expression. “No. Maybe. I don’t know.” He blew out a breath. “It’s a bit of a coincidence, don’t you think? That you’d show uphere, dating someoneIwork with.”
Jared looked to Kyrone. If his boyfriend was right about the note, being in the same city as Jag wasn’t a coincidence at all, but he didn’t want to tell Jag about it unless he could be absolutely certain Kyrone’s theory was correct; it would be a cruel thing to do. He hoped keeping the speculation to himself was the right thing to do, but he didn’t know for sure. Hecouldn’tknow for sure. It didn’t help that his head was pounding fiercely and all he wanted to do was find a quiet, dark corner to curl up in, which probably meant he wasn’t thinking entirely rationally.
“Maybe it is a coincidence,” he snapped. “But it’s one you’re going to have to live with. And you can believe me or not, but it’s not up to me to prove anything to you. You didn’t have any right to ask me.”
“You don’t need to prove anything,” Kyrone said, backing him up.
“I agree,” Michael said, even though it earned him a cold look from Jag. “But it would be good to know a bit more about what happened. Maybe it will help Jag understand. Do you feel up to telling us a bit more about the accident? When did it happen?”
Jared took a deep breath. He didn’t mind answering Michael’s much more reasonable question. “Eighteen months ago.”
He pushed his fingers along the palm of his other hand and then reversed the action, using the opposite hand. He kept doing that, trying to ground himself so he didn’t get too upset. He could tell them a little more without falling apart, couldn’t he?
“It was a freak accident. I was in a coma for a long time. When I woke up, I had full retrograde amnesia.” He galloped through the choppy sentences, forcing the short statements out of his throat.
“So you don’t rememberanything?” Michael asked.
Jag couldn’t tell if the older man was incredulous or shocked. “Nothing.” He shuddered at the silence that followed and the stares both men gave him.
This wasexactlywhy he didn’t rush to tell people about the accidentorhis memory loss. He hated the mixture of disbelief and pity he was always met with. Almost always. Kyrone hadn’t acted like that.
“Would it help to tell me how we knew each other?” Jared asked Jag. “I can’t tell if you’re angry with me because you thought I was trying to trick you or if it’s because of something I did. If I did anything to hurt you, I’m sorry.”
It was a bizarre sensation, feeling guilt for something he might have done but had no memory of. His chest hurt at the thought that he might have been a cold and callous person before the accident. He hadn’t been able to piece together what kind of a person he’d been, and recently, he’d told himself he didn’t need to know. Maybe that was his mind’s way of protecting him from some awful truth.
Jag’s face flushed red, and he dipped his chin, clenching his hands. “You didn’t doanythingto hurt me. You kept me sane.” His expression was fiercely desperate as he looked up and met Jared’s stare. “Youmustremember.”
Tears filled Jared’s eyes. He wished Jag’s impassioned words could spark his memory, but they couldn’t, and there was no sense giving Jag any kind of false hope that he could remember. “I don’t. I’m sorry.” He hadn’t meant the words to sound so blunt, but he was weary because his tumultuous emotions and the pounding in his head were sapping what little energy he had.
“Wait… If your memories are gone, does that mean your emotions are too? You can’t even remember how youfeltabout me?”
Jared rubbed at his chest and nodded. His parents had said something similar when he’d first woken up. They’d implored him to remember how he felt about them. They couldn’t understand how his emotional bond to them could have evaporated along with his memories. In many ways, looking them in the eyes and telling them he felt nothing for them had been the hardest in a long line of tough moments. And now he had to do it again to someone even more desperate.
“No,” he whispered. What more was there to say?
“Fuck!” Jag cried out. He took several deep breaths before speaking in a strained tone. “We were friends in school. We weremorethan friends.”
