Adam sighed. He couldn't forget about it. It was easier for Luc: he'd already established a life for himself away from their parents. He'd spent the last four years barely having contact with them. Even though it was clear Luc loved their parents, he'd still separated himself from them. If their parents reacted badly and shunned them both, life would barely change for Luc. But for Adam, it would feel like his world had ended. He lived with them and worked for them. If their parents hated him for being with Luc, he wasn't sure what he would do.
He clenched his teeth, refusing to let himself try to dissuade Luc from revealing their relationship. Adam had been the one to bring it up this time and he knew it was the right thing to do. If heartache was coming, it was better to rip off the plaster and do it now. Worst case, he could move in with Luc until he figured out what to do next.
But what would that mean for the dance school? His parents couldn't afford to replace him with a full-time teacher, nor could they cover the lessons he taught if they didn't. But if they were repulsed enough by him and his love to hate him, he doubted they would let him continue teaching with them, even if it destroyed the dance school.
"Hey," Luc said. "You're going to drive yourself nuts thinking about whatmighthappen."
"I know, but I can't stop."
Luc rubbed Adam's shoulder in a repetitive calming movement. "Why don't you think about applying for that dance company instead?"
Adam shook his head. "I can't, Luc."
"You can't think about it, or you can't apply?"
"Either? Both? My head is too messed up right now and, if Mum and Dad are okay with us there's no way I can leave the dance school."
"We'd carry on the long-distance thing, then?" Luc asked in a disappointed tone. "It's been really fucking hard."
"It's only been a couple of weeks."
"Exactly. If I can't cope with two weeks of barely seeing you, how am I going to cope with months or years of it?" He jabbed Adam in the side. "How areyougoing to cope? I know how quickly you get frustrated."
That brought a small smile to Adam's lips. "I thought you liked how horny I get when I'm frustrated?" he whispered, before lifting his head to kiss Luc's jaw.
Luc chuckled. "Oh, I do. But if I had a choice, I'd rather have a non-frustrated Adam every day, than a frustrated Adam once every couple of weeks."
"You could always move back home."
Luc's lips drooped. "Yeah, I could."
"But would you?"
Luc shrugged. "I love my job, Adam, maybe as much as you'd love being on the stage. I don't think either of us should be giving up so much. It's time for us both to live our own lives."
Adam dropped his head back onto Luc's shoulder. He knew his brother was right. He'd already spent too long shoving his own dreams aside, there was no way he could ask Luc to give everything up and move back home, just so they could be together.
"I don't want you to stop doing what you love," he said quietly. "We'll figure things out."
"Yeah," Luc said. "We will."
They barely talked for the rest of the journey, although they didn't let go of each other until the train approached the station. Then they parted. The fear that someone they knew would see them together kept them from straying close as they found a taxi to take them home.
After the taxi dropped them off, they stood on the street.
Adam took a deep breath. "This is it, then."
"Still sure you want to do this?" Luc asked.
"No, but we have to."
Adam let them into the house. Almost immediately, their mum appeared from the sitting room, a puzzled expression on her face.
"Adam, we weren't expecting you back until tomorrow." She looked between them. "Is something wrong? Luc?"
"We need to talk," Adam said, his voice cracking.
"Is Dad here?" Luc asked.
