"We have to tell them, don't we?" he said.
Luc's eyebrows lifted. "I didn't think you wanted to?"
"I don't," Adam said miserably. "I don't want to hurt them, or disappoint them, but we'll do both if we keep this to ourselves and they find out by accident. We'll probably hurt them a whole lot more if that happens. But if we tell them, at least we can try to control the fallout." He pushed his plate away. "Except, what good is telling them if we still can't be together? I'll still be there, with them and you'll still be here." He dropped his chin to his chest.
"Hey," Luc said, standing and coming to kneel beside him. "One problem at a time, okay?"
Adam pinched his nose. "I guess I'm just feeling overwhelmed right now." He half smiled at Luc. "You telling me you love me hasn't helped my general state of confusion."
Luc grinned. "I'm pretty sure you told me you love me back."
"I did. I do." He pulled Luc to him for a kiss. "But are we being utterly naive to think wecouldhave a future together? One where Mum and Dad support us? Because the only future I can see, is one where they turn their backs on us."
"I don't think they'd ever do that," Luc said, though his voice didn't hold the same confidence as his words.
"That's the thing, isn't it?" Adam asked. "We have no idea how they'll react."
"You're right about one thing though."
Adam held his breath, waiting for Luc to continue.
"If they find out some other way, their reaction will be a whole lot worse."
Adam dropped his forehead onto Luc's shoulder. "I want to be with you," he said. "I've never been surer of anything in my life. I don't care that loving you is a new thing. I've known you almost my whole life."
"We know each other's bad habits," Luc said, his voice strained.
They both laughed, though there wasn't as much humour in the conjoined sound as there should have been.
"We have to tell them," Adam said.
"I know. I've just been waiting for you to catch up." He cupped Adam's face in his hand, coaxing him to look up. "It'll be okay."
"We can't know that."
"No."
"I'm scared, Luc. I'm scared of losing them."
"So am I," Luc said slowly. "But whatever happens, we'll still be together."
"Yeah," Adam whispered, as Luc kissed him. It was the only certainty they had.
***
They caught the train together later that afternoon.
"Should we warn them you're coming?" Adam asked, leaning his head on Luc's shoulder as the train rocked gently from side to side as it rushed along the tracks.
Luc moved his fingertips in circles on Adam's knee. "Do you think it'll help?"
"No," Adam admitted. "I don't think anything will."
Luc wrapped his arm around Adam's shoulders. "It's not going to go as badly as you think. Everything will be fine I—"
"Don't," Adam hissed. "Don't promise. This isn't something you have any control over. Neither of us knows how they might react. We can hope and worry, but we don't know."
"Chill," Luc said. "Try to forget about it for a bit then, we're stuck on this train for three hours. Try to take your mind off it."
