They became a mess of arms, legs and bodies. Pushing and pulling each other, one gaining dominance for a few seconds, before the other gained the upper hand. Luc's back was bashed against the sprung floor more times than he could count, making him wince every time. But worse than the pain, was the fact that tussling with his brother was turning him on. His dick was becoming hard and it was only a matter of time before they ended up in a position where Adam would notice.
"You really want to know why?" he gasped. "Do you think you can actually handle the truth?" He was pretty sure Adam couldn't.
"Yes," Adam snarled. "I want to know."
Luc managed to pin Adam onto his back again. He held his crotch away from Adam, relieved when Adam stared up into his eyes, rather than looking down his body.
"I was in love with you."
Adam froze, his pupils shrinking. "What?" His voice was so quiet that Luc had struggled to hear it.
"I was in love with you." Saying it didn't bring any relief to Luc, if anything, it made him angrier. "I started having wet dreams about you. I couldn't stand to be around you, because just the sight of you gave me a fucking hard-on."
Adam's lips parted and then he pushed Luc backwards and scrabbled away, rushing to his feet. He pressed his hands against his head. "You were..." He shook his head, eyes still wide and disbelieving. "You're lying."
"Look at me," Luc said. "Look at me!"
Slowly, Adam turned his face.
Luc gestured to the bulge in his jeans. "Does it look like I'm lying? I wanted you then and I still want you now. In case you hadn't noticed, you're fucking gorgeous."
"We'rebrothers." Disgust filled Adam's voice, making Luc flinch away from him.
"Stepbrothers," Luc reminded him. "We're not even related."
Adam shook his head. "It doesn't matter. We were raised together, Luc. Our parents are married. You can't... Fuck." He wiped his hands over his face.
"You wanted to know." The anger had dissipated from Luc's voice.
Seeing Adam, so shocked and overwhelmed, made his heart ache. He wanted to embrace his stepbrother and hold him. He'd never wanted to hurt Adam, not when they were younger and definitely not now.
"I didn't think... I never imagined... Fuck!" Adam turned and slammed his fist into the wall, crying out as his knuckles crunched against the bricks. "Fuck!"
Luc took a step toward him and then stopped himself. He doubted Adam wanted him anywhere near him.
"I can't..." Adam breathed. "We're brothers." He cradled his bruising hand against his chest.
Both of them jerked their heads upwards, as footsteps reverberated above their heads.
"Hello?" Their mum's voice called out. "Adam? Luc?"
"We're downstairs, Mum," Luc called out, amazed by how calm his voice sounded, when inside his emotions were a jumbled mess.
Adam's upper lip curled. "Do they know?" he whispered.
"Of course not." He wouldn't have ever been able to come home if he'd thought for one second that their parents knew he was in love with Adam.
Adam stared at the floor for a few seconds. "I can't do this, Luc. I can't be around you right now." He walked around Luc, maintaining distance between them. "I'm sorry." He ducked his head and then ran up the stairs.
Luc stood still, doing nothing but concentrating on breathing in and out to calm himself.
"Adam, what's wrong?" He heard their mum say.
"Nothing. I'm going upstairs."
Then he heard Adam's footsteps moving across the kitchen, into the hall. He wasn't sure if he should feel relieved or frustrated that Adam hadn't said anything. He wasn't even sure what he was going to do, or even if he could continue to stay in the house.
He backed up until his ankles hit the bottom step, then he dropped down onto it, dropping his head into his hands. What had he done? Judging by the disgusted look on Adam’s face, any hope of reconciling with his stepbrother was gone. He felt like he was about to shatter into a million pieces. He needed Adam to come back down and tell him it was okay. He wasn’t even looking for reciprocation, just understanding. Anything would have been better than being left alone by the person who meant the most to him in the world. His chest shuddered and he let out a ragged breath. He was being selfish. Even though he was the one who had opened himself up, it wasn’t just about him. He'd just turned Adam's world upside down and he felt fucking terrible for doing so.
