Which was entirely unacceptable.He was clearly hurt, but that seemed the only reaction available to me.It was as though that woke me up, a way to break this spell between us, to remove the hold he—and the words he’d said—had on me.
He didn’t react to the hit, not so much as moving, as though it hadn’t happened at all.He chuckled, then said in a soft voice, “So we’ve both got some boundaries.Let’s not cross those lines, huh?”
With that, he strolled off, past me, still limping but with his back straight.It was as though he wanted to make damn sure that he didn’t appear weak.A whoosh of freezing air exploded out from the portal as it collapsed, as the purple shimmering surface disappeared and left nothing in its wake.
These smaller dungeons didn’t scar the land like the larger ones, the overlap minor.It meant once it closed, little evidence remained.
However, it had left its mark on me… Weakness filled my legs, making them heavy and useless.I feared that attempting a single step would cause me to topple and fall flat on my face.
“So regular touching is a no-go, but you don’t mind some roughness?”Carter’s voice was as jovial as ever, as though I hadn’t just slapped a man in front of him.If anything, he seemed more amused than anything.
“Shut up,” I muttered.
“Why?Come on, Yun, it was nice to see a little backbone.I mean, they don’t call you Blizzard for nothing.I like seeing your snarl, and Ingram could use a little frostbite now and then.”
I turned toward him, rewarded by a bright smile that seemed more honest than usual.It felt as though he was telling me it really was okay, that it wasn’t a big deal, that I had no reason to feel so slighted.
“Where’s he going?”I asked.
Shear approached along with Kenyon, but neither of them spoke.That sure said they didn’t want to answer.
But why?
It wasn’t like I controlled him.
He’s screwed every willing guide.The words came back to me from earlier, when the other guide had spoken about him.It explained what no one wanted to say.
If Ingram was heading off like that to be with another guide when he had one waiting for him—well, that looked pretty bad on my part.It was one hell of a slight against me, as though I’d failed—especially when I’d offered.
“Right,” I said, hating the way it hurt.There was no good reason for that to hurt my feelings, right?We had no real bond between us, weren’t anything to one another beyond guide and esper—and even that was new.
Maybe this was one of those things where it really was just stupid emotions.Guiding created a closeness—no matter how temporary—between two people.Even if I refused to touch in order to prevent anything happening, to make me more comfortable, that didn’t change that I might feel closer to him.
I’d heard people talk about one-night stands, about a possessiveness after that.Was that what I felt?
I blew out a long breath when I couldn’t come up with anything else.“Let’s go,” I said, forcing myself to smile, to push down those doubts or, worse, what they might mean.
I couldn’t let myself fall victim to them, to madness, to stupidity and instinct.Espers didn’t give a damn about guides, not beyond what we could offer them.They all ended up the same way.
There was no happily-ever-after when it came to espers.They spent their lives fighting until it either killed them, or they gave in to the ever-growing corruption inside them.
And when that happened?
Well, they became the monsters I knew they could be.
I won’t ever let that happen again.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Kenyon
The families on the beach ran around, playing, laughing, oblivious to the world around them.There was something nice about that, wasn’t there?
It was pleasant, nice in a way few things in my life were.
One family drew my attention back time and again.They had a large blanket set out, with heavy items placed at each corner to keep it from blowing away.A mother, a father and three children.The two boys were older, probably in grade school, and the third was a toddler girl, given the swimsuit she wore with ruffles on the butt.The mom doted on her, giving her pieces of cut-up fruit.
It was a damn cute sight, spawning a yearning in me for something I couldn’t have.
