I was able to identify them as they appeared.First, it was the other team.The guide I’d spent time with squealed, then rushed forward like greeting a husband back from war.
It gave me a moment to stare, to wonder what it would be like to feel that way.She ran over, greeted by the team like some long-lost lover.It annoyed me, especially after the things she said, but I could hardly deny that a part of me craved that kind of closeness.
My attention returned to the portal just as three figures broke through the surface.Carter was, yet again, covered in monster blood.Beside him walked Kenyon walked, with Shear next to him, and while both looked tired, neither showed any obvious injuries.
Those nerves inside me didn’t go away though, because three wasn’t the full number that should have returned.
I took two large steps forward before I stopped myself, and the last person appeared in the purple shimmer of the portal.I recognized that figure even before it all came into view.Except when Ingram did appear, he made Carter look clean and put together.
He limped and held his arm against his front, tight to his stomach as though it didn’t work right.
I had no chance to stop myself this time.
I rushed forward at a dead run, and even when Kenyon tried to stop me, I ducked around them.The portal collapsed in on itself just as Ingram passed through.It told me they’d cleared the dungeon, either by monster or heart, so at least they’d done their job.None of that really mattered, however, in the face of the way that Ingram walked.
I skidded to a stop just in front of him, staring up into his face.He wore a strange expression, some weird level of contentment.How could someone look that happy when hurt and covered in so much blood?
It made me wonder if I knew him at all.Or, maybe it was better to say it made me recognize I didn’t know him, that I might not ever really know him or understand him.
“You’re hurt.”My words were stupid—even I knew that much.The problem was that my brain refused to work.Seeing him that banged up bothered me.
“I’m fine.”His word slammed shut the door on any sort of conversation.
“You are not.Look at the way you’re holding your arm.”I gestured at him as though that had to prove the point.
He shifted to hide it, as though leaning the other direction would make me forget what I’d seen, as though I couldn’t see any longer that he still had that arm pinned to his side.
“Kenyon already looked at it and healed me.”
“Then why are you still like this?”
“Because it still takes a while to fully go away.What are you, my mother?”
Those words stung, more because he spoke true.I thought over to that other guide, to how annoyed I’d been by her actions, but she’d been welcomed, hadn’t she?They had at least a false sense of closeness—we didn’t.
I dropped my hands and curled them into tight fists when I didn’t know what else to do with the energy coursing inside me.I didn’t even understandwhyit bothered me so much.
“You probably need guiding,” I said, the words soft, quiet, meek.I hated that the worst.
His silence spoke more than his words had.It was one hell of a rejection.
“I can tell you need guiding,” I pushed.
He leaned in, and it took everything I had not to pull away.He didn’t touch me, but he got so close I could feel his breath against my ear.“Listen here,Blizzard, what I need is something I’m pretty sure you’re not offering.You’d probably do well to learn not to offer shit when you’re not ready for it.”
His nearness made it hard to think.I struggled to work through my own thoughts, to come up with a response, so leave it to my mouth to move before my brain could get involved.“I can feel the corruption.There’s no reason to say no.”
“You think?Because I can assure you that if you guide me, your little no-touching rule is going right the fuck out the window.You think I couldn’t feel you the last time we did this?You can act a prude, you can act like you don’t want it, but I can fuckingsmellyou.I know exactly how wet you get.I canfeelwhat you want from me.And with me in this mood?Trust me, I’m going to take full advantage of it.”He crowded me, stepping in even closer so the heat of his body seared me.“I gotta wonder if you’ve ever experienced that.You ever guided someone while they were between those pretty thighs of yours?While their tongue was lapping at your clit?I’ve heard that as good as it is for the esper, it’s even better for the guide.”
His words reached so deep that I couldn’t believe it.They went past fantasy, to desires I didn’t even know I had.Other espers had tried to say things like that to me, but it had never mattered.It had never sparked anything inside of me beyond disgust.So why was it that when Ingram said it, it tempted me?When he made those promises, I wanted him to prove them.
I wanted to know if he spoke the truth, if he could get me there, if I could be normal and feel that way.That desire scared me as much as it excited me.It was new, didn’t feel like me, and the unknown nature terrified me.
“This isn’t about that,” I whispered, wishing my voice were stronger, more certain.“You need guiding—that’s all that matters.”
“You sure?Because I can see the way your nipples are hard, and I’m pretty fucking sure that ain’t the only sign.So you giving in?You going to spread those pretty little thighs of yours?First me, then the others?Gonne let all three of us fuck any hole on you we want?Ain’t you just a giver, then?”
His words shocked me, graphic and daring.Before I thought about it, my palm flew, striking him on his cheek.
