“Me next.”Ingram shoved Kenyon’s arm until he moved from the couch, taking the spot he’d just vacated.
And boy did this show me the difference.
Where Kenyon was soft and gentle, Ingram was all hard lines.The tattoos that covered him proved that point, along with the black gauges in his ears, his hair slicked back.It all made him unapproachable.All the ways in which I relaxed with Kenyon closed right back up when it came to Ingram.
Worse, where Kenyon was so open with everything, where he seemed without guile, Ingram served as an exact foil.He was all secrets and shadows and hidden danger.Even his skills as an esper played into that, him making use of the shaded, the hidden to gain an advantage.
He didn’t soften his gaze as he stared at me, as though daring me to give up.It almost seemed like he wanted me to surrender, to admit defeat.I had a feeling everything was a contest to him.His lips curled up on one side, as though he could read my loss already, and it amused him.
That pushed me onward, made me unwilling to give in.I didn’t want to appear weak.Iwasweak in a lot of ways compared to them, but the idea of looking that way infuriated me.It felt like lighting a signal to predators, a way of making myself a target—which was foolish, given my current position.
So I focused instead of giving into my worries, identifying the corruption inside Ingram.Just like Kenyon, it was higher than it should have been.
I wasn’t about to back down, not from him…
Chapter Seventeen
Ingram
Fuck.
That was all I could think as Yun began guiding, as the corruption moved from me to her.It was like nothing I had ever experienced before.
That clawing, desperate need inside me lessened, and for a moment I actually felt an entirely foreign sense of contentment.
That darkness had quieted, lulled to peace, tamed by this little spit of a guide?
And with that silence, with that peace, another hunger woke.
But this was different.
Normally, when I wanted to indulge in another person, it was to lose myself, to bury myself in their warmth since I had none of my own.It was a craving I couldn’t ignore, a way to rid myself of everything about me I hated.It was to silence that gnawing, growing darkness that prowled beneath my skin.
However, this felt different.
It was a strangely natural pull, almost teasing, oddly seductive.
Was this what normal people felt?This sort of desire?Was this the sort of typical back and forth that couples experienced?It was nice in a way I couldn’t identify with.
I opened my eyes, staring at her, trying to gain some understanding of this woman who confounded me constantly.She was braver than she appeared, willing to do this, even when everything about her said she didn’t want to.
Why?
I couldn’t help but wonder about the reasoning behind it.What caused the fear that swarmed her?Why did she act that way?Why didn’t she let it take over, either?
She was like one big enigma, and worse?I lacked Shear’s powers, the ability to crawl right into her head.I was death—something crafted for the singular purpose of ending life.I could get in close and pull the living force of any creature—monster, human, esper—nothing more.
It meant I had no way of working out why she was different, why this felt so strange.And for the first time, I reallywantedto understand.
That hunger inside me, though, the one that couldn’t help but crave more, always more, eased for this short time.
What would it feel like to get closer?If guiding felt this amazing just like this, what if I sought more?What if I grasped her hips and pulled her against me, got her to spread those pretty legs of hers around my hips?
She was tough, even if she didn’t look it, so would she pull back?Would she go rigid?Or would she melt against me, give in to me, go along with anything I wanted?
“Stop it,” she whispered, voice low enough I wasn’t sure it carried any farther than me.
At least, it might not have in a group of humans, but with espers?She might as well have used a bullhorn to announce it.
