“They don’t take into account muscle!”Kenyon huffed.
The exchange struck me as so absurd, I couldn’t help the laugh that left me.It stole the strain that had rested on me, turned the men from terrifying, powerful espers to idiots.
Sure, idiots could still hurt me, but it made them far less scary.
Kenyon offered me a smile, a gentle one full of kindness, telling me he’d knownexactlywhat he was doing.
“Well, fatty should go first,” Carter said with an exaggerated sigh, as though he hated the idea.“He got her to smile, so he’s earned it.”
Ingram and Shear both muttered, their words so low I couldn’t catch them, only the soft buzz of discontentment making its way to me.
Even so, neither spoke up directly, seeming to accept the choice.
Kenyon didn’t look around, though.He didn’t seek permission from Carter, from the others, instead staring at me.He remained still, seeming to wait.
For what?
For me.He wanted permission from me, to make sure I was okay with it.
It made it all the clearer that Kenyon was the absolute best choice to start with.He enabled me to relax in a way that the others didn’t.
He was a healer, after all, and maybe that was part of it?He wasn’t crafted to do harm, to hurt others, to cause them pain.He could, of course—we all could—but his powers didn’t lean toward it.Likewise, his personality tended to ease me, not to set off the warnings inside me.He wasn’t playing that game to try to come out on top.I didn’t have to worry about him in that way.
Even after everything that happened, even after learning my place as a guide, my interactions with espers hadn’t been great.Something about Kenyon, the casual way he addressed everything, helped lower my guard.
I scooted my chair closer to Kenyon until I sat just in front of him.I didn’t want to touch, but the less distance between us, the easier the process.
Guiding three espers wasn’t going to be easy no matter what, so making each session as efficient as possible—given the parameters I’d set—was best.
I focused on him, on feeling for the corruption inside him, that hated, dark, wriggling energy that infected him, that infectedallespers.It was higher than it should have been, higher than most espers allowed it to get.
It had to be uncomfortable, a clawing sensation he could never escape, but he hadn’t let on about it.He’d never said a word.
An uneasy knot formed in my lower stomach.Something inside me didn’t like that for him.Normally, I didn’t give a damn about how espers suffered.They were well paid by the world for what they did, so who gave a damn if they had problems?Everyone had problems, after all.
However, thinking about Kenyon awake at night, sweat beading on his forehead, an aching, gnawing pain that he couldn’t escape, it didn’t sit right.His easy smile, the way he always worried about me, those made it more difficult to accept that he hurt for no good reason, for something that I could easily resolve.
Those thoughts would do me no good at the moment, though, so I pushed them aside and focused on the task at hand.I grasped the corruption within him and allowed it to flow into me.It filled me, though with the distance, without physical contact, I had to pull it on purpose.The space it had to flow through made it more difficult.
That unwanted, hated heat started inside me, my treacherous body betraying me as it always did.It was like it couldn’t understand the danger, like I was desperate for a drug I knew damn well would destroy me, but my addiction craved it anyway.
It made me wonder what it would be like with Kenyon…
He scared me less than the others, was less overwhelming.In fact, whereas the idea of sex with the others terrified me, with him, curiosity outweighed fear.I imagined he’d be sweet, gentle, slow and careful.It was how he was in regular life, so I had to guess he approached sex the same way.
I could almost imagine I might even enjoy it, that his gentle kisses, his large hands and solid body might actually please me.
I shook my head to dislodge that idea before it could take hold any deeper.It didn’t matter how tempting the idea might have been right then, I knew better than to give in.
So instead, I focused entirely on pulling the corruption from him, on alleviating his burden.My eyes slid closed, everything locked on tearing free that sickness inside him.
“Enough.”The voice shook me out of the action, causing me to snap my eyes open to find Carter kneeling before me but not touching me.His expression implied he’d said my name a time or two before, that he might have even considered touching me to wake me from that trance.When my gaze met his, when he seemed to notice that I’d come back to myself, he smiled.“You went a little deep there, didn’t you?”
I blinked slowly, not sure what he meant until I looked back over at Kenyon.
I didn’t sense a speck of corruption, as though I’d dragged every last bit of it out.It was an exceedingly difficult task, something that only the most powerful or most in-tune guides could do.I’d never done it because I’d never wanted to, because I’d always wanted guiding to end as fast as possible.I’d never given enough of a damn to do that sort of work, but I’d done it just now without even meaning to?
“That’s amazing,” Kenyon whispered, voice full of a strange awe.Then again, who knew how long it had been since he’d been free of this?He stared at me with a fondness that made me entirely uncomfortable.I was pretty sure he’d have reached across the space and wrapped his arms around me if it hadn’t been for the whole risk of getting fried if he tried it.
