Mary scoffed and then looked at Diana. “Well I don’t expectyouof all people to do anything, probably your whole lifestyle dragged these girls into this —”
“Be very careful what you say next.” Diana’s voice was even lower and left no room for games.
Mary swallowed. “Well, I —”
“I think we best get home, have a sleep, and talk about this when we have had a chance to process.” Hanna’s father grabbed his wife’s arm as he stood from the table. “Hanna, we will see you when you’re ready?” He let go of his wife and walked around the table.
Hanna felt Lily’s arms grow tighter around her, but when her father got to her, she turned slightly away from Lily to face him. He gave her a small smile and then put his hands on either side of her face and kissed her forehead. “I’ll talk to Mom. You’re our baby girl,” he whispered and then turned to join his waiting wife.
“You really have no issue with this?” Mary said, glaring at Diana.
“In this economy? A three-income household sounds like a good idea,” she said, not looking at Mary and instead giving Hanna a wink.
Mary sputtered, “Of course you haven’t changed since high school.” She walked off, her father following silently, something sad in the way he moved.
Hanna felt Maya hug her from behind, and she allowed herself to be squeezed by her lovers.
After a moment Diana spoke again, “Listen here kiddo, Hanna, what you just did was very,verybrave. It takes guts to do what you did. You are welcome to stay here for as long as you need, even if you need to stay till moving day, okay?”
Hanna nodded. She was beyond being able to talk, the tears fighting their way out of her.
Diana must have gotten up from the table because the next time she spoke she was closer but just as loud. “Look, there is never a right time. For whatever reason, big or small, some people go their whole lives not being true to themselves, and it eats away at them. You get to choose love, you get to choose freedom. It may feel like shit now, but I promise, that choice is a gift.”
And with that, Hanna let go and wept.
37
MAYA
Maya wanted to cry too. She wanted to hold on to Hanna and fix all the pain inside of her, having watched everything Hanna had feared come true. Well, almost. It was clear that it wasn’t so much the bisexuality that unnerved her mother as much as the fact that she had two girlfriends.
They were still in the Blake’s yard. Lily had taken Hanna to the treehouse, and Diana had disappeared somewhere inside the main house. Now it was just Maya, standing in the evening light watching her mother, who sat at the table as if she were afraid to move.
“Mom?” When there wasn’t an answer, Maya started to worry. This whole time they had been so focused on supporting Hanna, and Maya never considered that this was the first time her mother was hearing about her relationship. Having so readily accepted her pansexuality, she’d never even considered her mother wouldn’t accept her polyamory.
She cautiously pulled out the chair next to her mother and sat down, angling her body towards her mom, who almost imperceptibly turned towards her. “Mom?”
“Hey bug.” Her mother hadn’t used that nickname in years. Not even when she had told Maya about the divorce.
“Mom?” Maya tried again. “So, are we, is this ok?” She wasn’t really asking permission, but she didn’t really know what to ask because she was unsure as to what the issue was.
“I uh, didn’t know, didn’t realize,” Maggie began.
“Didn’t know what? That I also date women? I told you I am pan,” Maya said. She hadn’t been shy about her crushes on celebrities of many genders. Her mother had never said anything; her dad every now and then agreed or disagreed with her, but no one had ever told her that her sexual or romantic interests weren’t okay.
“I guess, well, there were just boys in high school,” her mom said.
“Well I am pan, so I am attracted to people.” Maya spoke slowly at first, trying to reiterate some definition of pansexuality in case her mother had been unclear. “That includes all genders, though admittedly there are challenges with cis men,” she joked to try and break through the tension.
“Is that it? You can’t find a good guy to date?” her mother asked.
Disbelief slammed into Maya. “What?” she said dumbly.
“The reason…never mind,” her mother cut herself off with a sigh.
“Mom, I am not into women because I can’t find a good man. I am not even into Lily and Hanna because they’re women. Like I said, I am into them because they arethem.”
“I see,” her mother said plainly, and then she finally looked up into Maya’s eyes. Maya saw desperation there and maybe something like shame. “Is this, did I do this to you?”
