“I was never really happy with Terrence,” I admit. “I thought I was, but I just wanted to feel chosen, and he made me feel chosen, so I hung on tight. I accepted the breadcrumbs, the bad behavior, his insanely toxic mother.”
“Oh, Will.”
“It’s true, and I got used to it, to not really having what I truly wanted. But then what I truly wanted came to me in triplicate, and I didn’t know what to do with that. I took it, I sank in it, and I was happy. Oh, Jamie, I was so happy. It was just too good to be true. I kept waiting for something to go wrong.”
His shoulders drop as he gives me a pained look. “Then you found out about Sheila.”
“And I walked away. It was the other shoe that I knew would drop. It was my cue to go back to being out of happiness’s reach, I guess. You’re right, Jamie, I am afraid of something. I’m afraid that if I let the Morgan brothers in, I’ll be so happy I won’t know what to do if I lose them for good. Being pregnant sure isn’t helping either, because now I’m terrified they’ll want to be a part of my life strictly because of the baby.”
“That’s not true,” he says. “You know that, right?”
I nod slowly. “But it doesn’t stop these feelings from messing with my head, with my resolve. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones? I don’t know. What I do know is that you’re right. Cole, Asher, Toby, and I belong together. I just have no idea how to say it to them.”
“You justsaid it.”
“Have you seen those guys?” I laugh bitterly. “Tall as oaks, fierce businessmen, lions with shares of their own, then there’s me: plump, self-made, little me.”
“Oh, honey, you are that and so much more in their eyes, as evidenced by every single frickin’ flower currently crammed into our office.”
This time, I laugh wholeheartedly. Leave it to Jamie to take the edge off and the seriousness out of my darkest thoughts. I’ve been overthinking everything. I should take a page from his book and just roll with the punches.
24
WILLOW
Adinner date at Cole’s penthouse isn’t just any dinner, it’s an event, and it was clearly treated as such. I recognize the food as made to order by Ernesto’s Steakhouse, Asher’s favorite place in all of New York—renowned for their exquisite Angus beef and to-die-for parmesan and rosemary potatoes.
The wine is from some remote but insanely expensive Moldavian cellar. A ruby red that I only admired in its glass while taking sips of water, blaming medication for a minor cold to justify my inability to drink wine.
“This place hasn’t been the same without you,” Cole admits.
We’ve just wrapped up dessert, and the New York–style cheesecake left me with a broad smile on my face and a yearning for another slice. Something tells me there’s another kind of dessert coming later, though.
The mere thought makes my core tighten. I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to this date.
“I haven’t been the same without you either,” I confess. “But I’m glad I’m here now. I really am.”
Asher gives me a soft smile, warmth exuding from his deep, brown eyes, his mother’s eyes. That is one woman I would’ve loved to meet. “You look beautiful, by the way.”
“Thank you.”
“How’s work going?” Toby asks.
“Really well, actually. We’re already fielding new clients.”
“That’s great,” Asher says. His cologne meets my senses first: sea salt and the finest musk. It shatters my defenses as heat pools between my legs.
“What about you?” I ask. “Any new leads on that Brett/Perry dude?”
I may have struck them with a mood killer because the brothers simultaneously lean back in their chairs and take deep breaths.
“That bad, huh?” I murmur, lowering my gaze.
“No, not bad, just nothing yet,” Cole says. “I wish we had better news. Some people slip through the system’s cracks, and some learn to take advantage of that, staying off the grid, flying under the radar. This guy is clearly one of them.”
“New York is a big city,” I say. “Honestly, I wasn’t expecting a miracle. I’m just trying to understand why he came after me in the first place.”
“We’ll figure it out,” Toby replies. “No one is going to rest until we do.”
