“Have you heard back from any?” Noah leans into the table, eyeing me intently.
This is humbling. “Only rejections.”
He gives me a small smile. “Rejections are better than radio silence.” Cutting into his steak, he pauses. “Are you starting to get worried?”
Of course.
He’d be here all night if I spilled my guts. He would either shrivel up in pity or run for the hills.
“I wouldn’t be human if my mind didn’t start whirling with anxiety.”
“I choose to live life without worrying about anything.”
I’m at a loss for words. Just when I think I’ve found a half-decent man, he opens his mouth and says something that spikes my red-flag alert to go off.
After swallowing, I ask, “And how exactly do you do that?”
I fidget with the napkin on my lap as a heavy weight presses on my chest. I don’t know why I continue going on dates that lead me to fancy restaurants that have overpriced food that I truly can’t afford. I would rather bike to a picnic in a park or sing karaoke.
“It’s simple—just don’t think about it.” He hits my hand gripping my fork, sending a piece of pasta to the tablecloth, before downing half his wine.
Ew, absolutely not.
Looking at him closely, I wonder if he’s ever had to worry about paying a bill. If he’s ever had to plan what his next steps would be if the lights and electricity went out.
How, at the age of twenty-four, do you simply not care aboutanything?
Is there a specific line I need to get in to guarantee that life?
“I wish I could just ignore the thoughts that cause me stress, but I can’t just toss the ones about bills and money aside.”
He straightens up in his seat, and his button-up shirt, which I once admired, now looks too perfect, too ironed, and fake. “Why are you talking like you don’t have a trust fund coming your way?” He gestures to me with a wince. “I have to admit, it’s not a flattering look.”
I gape at him, letting my mouth hang open in total disbelief. “Not that this is your business at all, but I don’t have a trust fund backing me up on the hard days. Why is that something you would assume everyone has the luxury of having?”
I’m so close to grabbing my drink and pouring it over his head. The people sitting closest to us eye us with worried gazes, almost like I’m a wild animal.
“I wouldn’t want to be with someone who is poor. Financial stability in a partner is important to me. As a man, I can’t have a woman who is unable to pay for her own expensive needs.”
His eyes catch the way my fingers twitch on my glass. Dragging his chair from the table with a loud squeal, he drops his napkin over his half-full plate. “If you’ll excuse me, this is obviously not going to work, and I won’t waste any more of my time.”
Am I picturing strangling him as I watch him descend the stairs before walking out of the restaurant? Yes. Yes, I am. And do tears cloud my vision as I realize I have to pay the bill in full when he ordered the most expensive thing on the menu while I just ordered a simple pasta?
Blinking the tears away because no one else around me needs more of a show, I steady my shaking hands and wave down the server nearby.
“Can I get the bill, please?” I swallow hard.
She gives me a puzzled look, eyeing Noah’s plate. “Sure, no problem. Do you want a takeout container for any of this?”
Rifling through my purse, I yank out my wallet. “No, just the bill would be great.” I breathe heavily, sending her a small smile.
FOUR
ELIJAH
“Can I just point out how much of an honor it is to have the greatest band of all time here?” the radio host says into the microphone, beaming at my siblings and me from across all his equipment.
My sister slaps my thigh, scolding me with her eyes as I spin in my chair. Straightening up, I try to appear more professional, but the knowing smirk my brother throws my way makes me chuckle.
