“Uh, you’re putting on makeup,” she says slowly, sending me a funny but confused look.
“And why am I putting on makeup, Thea?”
She crosses her arms across her chest, huffing out, “When did we start playing Twenty Questions?”
I aim and throw my least favorite foundation brush at her head, which makes her yelp. “Don’t answer my question with a question.”
“But you started it.”
“I called you here for support because I’m going on a date.”
Rolling her eyes, she picks at her blue acrylic nails. “This is the first date you’ve had in months. After this one, you’re going to go on a dry spell again. I’m trying to help you.”
“By telling me I’m going to be a bunny lady?” Am I the one who started all the questions? Yes, and it’s too fun to stop. “That’s helping me?”
“I’m going to leave this house and never come back again.” She jumps from the counter and paces the bathroom. “What I’m trying to get at is, you deserve someone who makes you happy, a man who makes your heart skip a beat.” She stresses, “You can’t give up after bad dates. Someone is going to be the needle you find in the haystack.”
“Did you read that quote on Pinterest?”
I laugh as she charges at me and shakes my shoulders, jolting my brain with each tug back and forth.
“Are you hearing me, lady?”
“Loud and clear.” For added effect, I wince and cup my ears.
“I just want you to be happy.” She pouts.
That’s why I love her. She’s the definition of a people pleaser.
“And I want you to be happy. I need you to stop worrying about my dating life and start thinking about your own.”
She runs a hand down her face and sighs. “What am I going to do with you? Can we be serious for one second?”
I start applying my favorite blush. “Hit me.” A sudden burning sensation stings the flesh on my forearm. “Ow! What the heck was that for?”
“You told me to hit you.” She shrugs innocently. “How much do you know about this guy?”
Do you really learn anything about someone on a dating app other than how much they’re packing?
“Nothing much, other than his name is Noah, he’s twenty-four, and he works in marketing. That’s all I know about the guy.”
She’s quiet as I finish up my makeup, and knowing my friend, I’m sure she’s a nervous wreck about online dating.
“If I get weird vibes from him, I’ll call you, okay?”
“I need you to promise me that you’ll actually call me and not worry about being annoying, even though you are.”
Walking into my closet, I start ruffling through my clothes. “Cross my heart and hope to die,” I yell over my shoulder before turning around with my favorite cheetah skirt, but my heart jumps when I spot her only a foot behind me.
“What? You said you needed help getting ready,” she exclaims at what I presume is my terrified expression.
She drives me crazy, but I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world.
“So, what do you do?” Noah asks as he watches me sip my sangria.
Trying to keep my focus on the man in front of me rather than the loud restaurant full of people around me, I answer him while twirling my straw, “I finished teachers college about six months ago, and now I’m waiting to hear back from a bunch of interviews.”
Am I the only one who finds these boring questions on a first date embarrassing? Ask me anything deep, and I’m your girl.
