“Stop what?” I argue back.
“Stop making me feel like a monster.” His voice grows thick.
Pointing my finger into his hard, defined chest, I say through my trembling lips, “But here’s the thing: I’m not trying to make you feel like a monster. I’m explaining how youleftme with all mine.” God, I need to get a grip. “You were the glue holding me up. Elijah, I am not the same person you left behind.”
I’m hanging on by a thread. The only thing I haven’t lost is slipping between my fingers. My home. I’ve almost lost everything.Everything.I don’t want to relive this hurt again, no matter how much I hate how I’m acting.
“I can’t even express how sorry I am. I need you to understand that.” He licks his lip when a tear trickles down his face.
When I press my lips together and don’t say anything back, he takes that as his cue to continue. “I thought of you every day—and still do. I was just so?—”
I butt in, cutting off his stammering. “Busy?”
His gaze shifts downward as I wrench myself from his grip and take several steps back. “Lily, please just?—”
My phone rings loudly, interrupting him mid-sentence.
I know there are always two sides to every story.I hear him.I just need time to think, get my head clear before mentally traveling back to the past.
Elijah looks like he has the whole world’s weight on his shoulders. My phone continues to ring. Slumping forward, I find it beside my foot.
“Hello?” I croak when I answer the phone. Locked in a stare with my childhood best friend.
Sadness rolls off him in waves as he slouches forward and braces his arm on the doorframe.
All I want to do is jump in his arms, run my hands through his silky hair, and tell him I’ll always be here for him. Yet I can’t erase what happened in the past and what I felt. He discarded me when he was done, almost like I was garbage.
“You’re still alive. Thank goodness! Do you know how worried I was?” Thea yells, and I flinch over the sudden loudness in my ear. She groans. “I know you’re busy, so I’ll let you go. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine,” I’m not…
“I know. You always are. Talk to you soon.” She hangs up before I can say anything else.
His presence is like a thunderstorm. Without even looking, I know his eyes are on me, trying to memorize my face. I would always feel him when he was near, almost like we were connected by an invisible rope. I guess nothing has changed.
“I understand you’re overwhelmed, so I’ll give you space. Just know when you’re ready to talk, I’m across the street.” Hesitating, he takes a step back. Nodding his chin once, he turns slowly and walks away.
Lungs that feel like they’re filling up with water, I choke out, “You’re back?”
His eyes sparkle with hope as he swivels in my direction but keeps walking backward. “For a few months.”
Nodding, I watch him cross the street before I close the door. Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to get him out of my head, but all I can see in the darkness is his face.
NINE
ELIJAH
As I hunch over the toilet, gagging at the bitter, acidic taste in my mouth, I inhale a sharp breath, blinking my eyes rapidly to get rid of the tears pooling in them.
“What the fuckery is going on here?”
I jolt in surprise and almost smack my head on the toilet seat lid. I find Leonidas gaping at me in the doorway.
“Are you sick?”
Groaning, I balance on one knee and rest my elbow on my other as I hold my forehead. “How did you get in?”
“You gave me a key.” Leonidas moves into my space, and he palms my shoulder and gives it a reassuring rub. “I rang the doorbell probably five times before I barged in here. I thought maybe something had happened to you.”
