“Yes. You know why?”
She shakes her head.
“Because it makes them feel better, knowing I’m going to cry after seeing their messages. But most of the time, I just feel sad for them.”
“Why? They’re bullies.”
Brushing a piece of her brown hair behind her ear, I kiss her button nose. “I think they need a little more love in their life. Does that make sense?”
“Yep.” She pops theP. “I would never be mean to someone if I was sad though. I would be nice,” she stresses, rubbing her lips together.
“Everyone is different. We can’t all act the same.”
I tickle her stomach. She squirms in my lap, squealing.
“And that’s what makes you a good girl. Being mean isn’t cool.”
I hug her to my chest, and after a while, her body melts into mine as her eyelids start to flutter closed. Placing my cheek on the top of her head, I watch the sunset from the window as her body softens with sleep.
I feel at peace, sitting here with her in my arms. I understand Levi now. This little girl is growing up with such watchful eyes, absorbing everything people say and do like a sponge. And I have an impact on the way she sees the world through my words and actions. That’s scary, but also such a blessing. I never thought I would have that.
I want her to grow up believing in the impossible, striving only for the best because that’s what she deserves. I want to be there every step of the way, watching and cheering along from the sidelines as she accomplishes her goals and makes a name for herself.
I want a future with these two so badly. Nothing has scared me more than the possibility of her brother not wanting the same.
Getting up very slowly, not wanting to wake her up, I make my way upstairs into my room and place her on my bed. Tucking her in my sheets, I close my bedroom door softly.
Glancing at my watch to check the time, I see a text from Elijah.
Eli
Hey, we forgot to bring keys. We’ll be home in ten minutes. Can you unlock the door for us?
They went to dinner without me. I had to stay behind, which I honestly preferred because Stella was getting grumpy and didn’t want to go. I’m also waiting for a text from Levi, letting me know he’s home so I can drop off his sister.
Me
No problem. It’s going to cost five dollars though. :)
Running down the stairs and almost tripping on my own feet, I unlock my front door before running back up because my bladder is very uncomfortably full.
I leave the bathroom door open just a sliver in case Stella wakes up, frightened, and I’m unable to hear her. Peeing with the door open makes me uncomfortable. The sayingnaked and afraidreally applies to me. Rushing, I flush the toilet and run the water as I lather my hands with soap.
Just as the hot water washes all the soap bubbles off my hands and into the drain, the hairs on the back of my neck stand, sending shivers down my body. Gasping, I spin around and face the door. My breath comes out in pants as I hear my pounding heart in my ears, making me feel unsteady.
I swear I felt another presence near, and I know it wasn’t Stella because it felt big … dangerous.
God, I hate being home alone, and this is the reason why.
From where I stand, pressed up against the vanity, I try to peek through the crack in the door, but my anxiety only worsens. Only seeing darkness because I’m an idiot and I forgot to turn on any lights, I curse myself. I really don’t want to go out there because something feels wrong, and my gut isalwaysright.
Where’s my morally gray boyfriend who isn’t scared of anything when I need him?
Taking off the pink hoodie I was wearing, which made me feel like I was being strangled by my sudden fear, I’m left in only my pink biker shorts and a white sports bra. Putting my hair in a messy bun, I take a deep breath. Even though it feels like with every breath I take, I’m inhaling beads that are filling up my lungs.
I take a step closer to the door, and my shaky hand, which is now layered with sweat, grips the doorknob. Pulling it open slowly, as if something is going to pop out from behind it, I take a step back, but I’m met with a dark hallway.
Maybe I’m just going crazy.
