“On the plane ride. Had my people on it immediately.” He smirks at my dropped jaw.
I’m convinced he wants to damage my heart from all the sudden emotions he brings my way that I’m not used to.
“Did you mean it?” I say quickly but softly after a few more minutes of comfortable silence. The question has been going through my head all night while I thought about his T-shirt, so much so that my brain started to hurt. My nerves held me back from asking sooner, but what’s the worst that could happen?
He’ll say no.
“Did I mean what?” he says just as softly, lying in a hotel bed miles away yet he feels so close.
“Do you love me?” I feel my heartbeat in my throat.
He smiles before mumbling in a hoarse voice, “Endlessly.”
The state of my heart?
It just exploded.
CHAPTER46
AMELIA
“Iforgot how yummy these are!” Stella nods her head while licking her lips after biting into my favorite creation in the world—chocolate-covered strawberries.
“Aren’t they?” I agree, biting into my own before rubbing my belly.
“Did you make them?”
Looking down at the container that was left on my doorstep, I smile. “Your brother actually sent them to us.”
She perks up in her seat, thinking her brother arrived home. “He’s home?”
“Not yet, but he’ll be here soon.”
Frowning, she scrunches her face at me. “Then, how did he give us these?”
Ugh, I just want to reach over and pinch her cute, chubby cheeks. “He used his phone and ordered them. Then, someone who works at this bakery”—I point to the store logo on the takeout box—“dropped them off for us outside.”
She shrugs, biting into her strawberry. “Makes sense, I guess.”
I laugh at her emotionless face. She’s clearly unimpressed by her brother’s efforts. He has to know about this when he gets back. I make a mental note in my messed up head to tell him.
“Why do you get sad when you see pictures of yourself?”
That’s another way to break the silence … but I’m not surprised. Kids don’t have filters.
Looking up from my phone, I find Stella giving me a curious look while she lays her cheek on the palm of her hand. Sitting straight in my seat, I tuck a lock of my blonde hair behind my ear, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
How do I explain my eating disorder to a little girl without giving her the impression that she’s going to experience it herself too? I don’t want her to think it’s okay not to eat. Because I know it’s not. Not feeding myself puts my body in so much danger. I hope now that I’m trying to heal, my body will forgive me.
Sighing, I drop my strawberry onto my plate and hug my bent knee to my chest. Avoiding her innocent eyes, I stare at the clock hanging on the wall behind her and follow the little hand. “I’m not sure why I feel like that most of the time. It’s really confusing. But just like your brother, I have lots of people all around the world that know me.” Ripping my gaze off the clock, I see her nodding her head as I talk. “Some of them are really mean and make fun of my body, and that makes me sad.”
“But you’re so pretty. How can anybody make you feel sad?” she whispers in my quiet kitchen as the sun sets, casting a yellow tint on her face.
“Something tells me that they’re just really sad too.”
“So, they’re mean because they’re sad?”
Pushing my seat back with my feet, I pat my lap. She jumps off of her seat, and she walks around the table before climbing up onto my legs. Winding her arms around my neck, she faces me with a serious look on her face.
