'Can I grab two coffees and a hot chocolate please?' A man asked before turning and smiling at his wife and daughter who were both sitting at a table colouring a paper lantern ready for the parade that evening.
'Yep. I'll bring it over.' Merri spoke before turning her back on him. She wasn’t sure how she'd got through the day, but this was booming too much right now. Having to stand here and serve all these happy couples with their children as they all designed and coloured their paper lanterns before they headed to out for the lantern parade. Together. As a family.
Using the hem of her apron she dabbed at her eyes. She hadn’t had a wink of sleep last night. Instead, she'd been stuck in a cycle of reliving Felix's conversations with Janet and deleting his calls and texts. He'd made his position crystal clear so why couldn’t he just leave her alone to lick her wounds?
Picking up a mug, she watched as it slipped from her fingers to the floor and shattered against the tiles. She couldn’t do anything right. She couldn’t keep a relationship and she couldn’t even make a coffee.
'Merri, love, come through to the kitchen for a moment please?'
Elsie's voice tore her from her thoughts and Merri turned to face her. 'I need to make coffee.'
'No, you need to come into the kitchen for a minute. Brooke will make the coffee.' Holding her hand out, Elsie waited until Merri had stood up again before guiding her gently into the kitchen. 'Sit down, love, and I'll get you a drink.'
Standing in the middle of the room, Merri looked at her feet. 'I’m sorry. I know I've been useless today, I just...'
'Come on, love. Sit down.' Wrapping her arm around her shoulders, Elsie led her to a stool and waited until she'd sat down before making a coffee. 'Here you go. get that down you.'
'Thanks.' Mumbling, Merri pulled the hot mug towards her and wrapped her hands around it, the skin warming quickly against the heat from the ceramic.
'Now, I know you told me earlier that you overheard Felix telling someone else that he was leaving his job at the farm and going home, but are you absolutely certain that's what you heard? Are you sure you've not got muddled up?'
'I heard him say it. he said he had nothing to stay here for.' She shrugged. She'd said all this. She'd spoken to Elsie, to Brooke, to Tilly. She’d told them all exactly what she'd heard.
'Umm, it's just, well, Felix has always seemed such a lovely lad, I don’t think he'd intentionally hurt you. there must be a reason. perhaps he was talking about something else?'
She shook her head. 'He wasn’t. He was referring to our relationship. Or what I thought had been a relationship.'
'Oh, love, if that's the case then I'm really sorry. I’m sorry you had to hear it that way.' Elsie placed her hand on her forearm.
Merri felt new tears sting the backs of her eyes. This was supposed to eb a happy day. It was the day of the lantern parade. The bakery had been having all day, full of people coming to decorate their upper lanterns and coming to see Santa too. Ian had played the role perfectly and standing from her position behind the coffee and cake counter all she'd heard all day was shrieks of laughter and excited chatter from both parents and children. Any other time she'd have loved this. She'd have loved seeing how happy Christmas made people. She'd have felt happy.
But Felix had gone and ruined it all. He'd dumped her in the most painful way and instead of realising she'd overheard. instead of listening when she'd told him last night that she'd overheard, he just kept ringing and messaging.
She just needed to be left alone to grieve the sudden end to one of the best relationships she'd ever had. no, the best relationship she'd ever had. or what she'd thought had been the best anyway.
'I don’t think I'm going to stay working at the farm. I can't go back now, I know I can't face seeing him. I just can't do it.' Merri took a yellow handkerchief Elsie held out towards her and wiped her cheeks. She'd made her mind up, She felt awful for leaving Nick without a teacher and for letting the people who had booked on her sessions down, but what else could she do?
'You'll still take the job in the new year though, won't you, love?'
'I don’t think I can.' She shook her head. 'I can't let nick down and expect him to still take me on next year. I think I just need to walk away from it.'
'But you had plans to relocate here. you can't let go of your dreams.' Elsie spoke softly. 'Just think on it. Give it a few days before you make any decisions.'
Merri sighed. She wasn’t going to lie to Elsie. She couldn’t promise her something she knew she wouldn’t do. She’d made up her mind and she knew she wasn’t about to change it. She knew she couldn’t change it.
'Why don’t you go on upstairs and take a nap? I'll wake you before the lantern parade and you can decide if you want to come to that.'
'I don’t. I'm sorry, but I'll only spoil it for everyone. I think I just need to sleep.' Merri lifted her mug and took a large gulp of bitter coffee.
'Oh, love, you won't spoil it for anyone. We'd love to have you there.'
'No. thank you but I just can't face it.' Standing up, Merri sighed. 'I really am sorry about everything. About today and not doing much work, about being miserable.'
Elsie stood up too and walked across to Merri before enveloping her in a hug. 'You have nothing to apologise for, love. Go on up to bed and try to get some sleep.'
'Thanks.' Mumbling, Merri pulled her mobile from her pocket and placed it at the back of the work surface. She needed a break from avoiding the calls and messages. Despite everything she wasn’t ready to just block him, but she wasn’t ready to speak to him either.
OPENING HER EYES, MERRIsat up and stared into the darkness. The bakery was empty. everyone would surely be at the lantern parade by now so why had she woken so suddenly?
