My mental had been tested so many times.
The day I learned my sisters saw those tapes, I had a mental breakdown. It seemed like everything kept coming at me one instance right after another, and that was my breaking point. My therapist had been a Godsend. It helped that she was a survivor of assault herself. She understood me on a level that nobody else could.
In the month and a half of seeing her and being on my medication, I could already feel the changes. When I first got to prison, I spoke with the prison psychologist a few times the first couple of weeks. She wasn’t helpful, and I wasn’t making progress, so I refused to go back. The woman tried to make me feel guilty about what I’d done.
True, I took a life, but it was my last resort. Knowing now that I wasn’t the first young girl to be Rodney’s victim gave me even more reason to believe that I’d saved not only myself and my sisters from the same fate, but some other innocent little girl.
“I just want to go home,” I finally answered. “All I need is to be surrounded by you all.”
“We can throw some food on the grill,” Mr. Lake suggested. “Whip up a few sides, turn on some music.”
I smiled. “I’d like that.”
“We can stop by the grocery store on the way to the house,” Killian said.
I pulled away from him. “Actually, can I meet y’all at the house? There’s something I need to do. If I don’t do it now, I’m never going to do it.”
He looked at me curiously. “What is it? Do you need me to come with you?”
“No, baby. This is something I need to do for myself. I’ll meet you at home. I promise.”
He nodded slowly. His home was officially my home these days. I mean, it had become my home when I moved in, but now it was my residence since we’d put an actual title on our relationship.
I was his lady, and he was my man…myman.
I loved being with him. I loved sleeping next to him and waking up to him. Killian gave me peace. He was one of my biggest supporters and my best friend. I knew that there was nothing in life I couldn’t get through without him at my side.
Killian slid me the keys to his car. I’d officially gotten my license last week, thanks to Londyn. She’d taken the task of preparing me seriously and didn’t slack off as my teacher. Even though she was extra as hell, I loved her for believing in me.
“Don’t get in there driving like a bat out of hell,” she warned me as I walked to the car.
I giggled. “That’s you, not me. I’m a cautious driver. I love you guys. I’ll see you soon.”
I climbed in the car and cranked up. As I went to back out, there was a tap to the window. I looked up to see my sisters and Killian. Rolling the window down, I peered up at them.
“You’re going to go see her, aren’t you?” Adrienne asked, crossing her arms.
“I have to, Adrienne.”
“No, you don’t. She doesn’t deserve anything from you, sissy.”
“She’s right,” Miyah agreed. “As far as I’m concerned, she’s dead to me.”
I understood their pain. They were still angry with Kennedy about the way she did them. Our aunt and uncle were granted full guardianship over them now. They didn’t even acknowledge Kennedy as their mother anymore.
“I understand, y’all. I really do. I just have things I need to say and answers I need to know before I can lay this whole thing to rest.”
“And what if she doesn’t give them to you?” Adrienne asked. “You’ll be inflicting pain on yourself for nothing.”
“She has nothing else to lose at this point by telling the truth. If she doesn’t, I’ll leave it alone. I promise.”
They looked at each other, then at me and nodded. Both of them gave me a hug and kiss before rejoining our family. Killian stooped and leaned into the car.
“You know you don’t have to do this alone, right?” he asked.
“I know, but I need to. I can handle it.” I cupped his chin and pecked his lips. “I love you.”
“I love you more. Hurry home. Don’t make me have to come up there because I’ll be rocking an orange suit if she steps out of line.”
