There’s a moment of silence between us. Maybe we’re both still grieving something we can’t have. Me for my life before my injury, her for a pet on Earth.
“So, why did you call me Bruno? Do I look like a dog to you, then?” I am curious about her first reaction to me.
“No…well, yes, kind of?” She seems confused. “You and Bruno are the same gray color. He had scars too—people had done terrible things to him.” She gulps. “But he still loved me right away, that’s how great dogs are. They don’t need you to prove your worthiness. They love unconditionally, no matter how horrible their past is. Even if you don’t deserve it.” Her eyes get glassy and red again. I hate seeing her like this. I’d rather she be angry than this.
“I’m sure he’ll be alright without you. We don’t have dogs here, but from what my translator chip showed me, they seem like decent predators. I have no doubt Bruno was able to fend for himself,” I say, hoping it will smooth over her burgeoning sadness.
“Bruno is dead. As much as I miss him, I won’t have to worry about if he’s being cared for on Earth,” she whispers.
“What happened?”
“He got sick, too sick to get better.” Her voice warbles as she continues. “So I just loved him until the day came where I couldn’t keep him comfortable anymore. Once the cancer had progressed too far, I euthanized him. I just didn’t want him to suffer.” Her whimpering returns and quickly turns into choking sobs.
As her body shutters, my defenses drop, and I wrap my arms around her.
Marta stills, her back straightening as she holds her breath.
I should release her from my grip, I should keep up the facade of disinterest—but her broken heart is breaking mine. I am not stronger than the bond.
I turn my face to hers, our lips hovering a hairsbreadth away from each other.
I want to grab her face, to press my lips into hers, to probe the depths of her mouth with my tongue.
But this isn’t the right time.
“You must have been very strong to let someone you loved go,” I say to the top of her head. “Bruno knew he was loved, I’m sure of it.”
As if that statement breaks the last bit of her resistance, she wiggles her arms under mine and squeezes me like a vise. Her crying gets worse, but I don’t think she’s holding anything back now.
She sobs against my chest with no restraint. I stroke my hand down her hair and pull her harder against me.
We stay like that for a long time. Eventually Marta cries herself to sleep, slumping against me in exhaustion.
Cradling the back of her head, I lay her against the pillow and pull the blanket high under her chin.
Standing, my mind wanders as I take in the sight of her snuggled into bed.
Could I let Marta go?If it would truly make her happy? Would I be strong enough?
CHAPTER19
?CURTAIN CALL?
?MARTA
My eyes aredry and angry at how hard I cried last night, like there’s no way I’ve got any tears left to spare.
I let my fingers linger, my hands touching the parts of my biceps where Raf’ere wrapped his arms around me.
What even was that?Did he feel bad for yelling at me about the stupid robe earlier? I find it funny that a big scary alien would feel bad for me. But should I? I feel bad about myself and my current predicament. I felt like shit about Bruno.
Bruno knew he was loved.How can something be so gut punching while simultaneously comforting?
There’s a shuffling from the main bedroom through the still cracked door to the closet. I wonder if he’s getting ready to leave again. I was embarrassed before, and even though I don’t think I have any control over it, I’m embarrassed for crying on him.
Even if it felt good.Of course, I’d cried about Bruno before, but no one had ever let me grieve so openly with them until last night. Not without some backhanded comment about a pet not being worthy of my level of sadness. It was incredibly kind of the duke.
That, in combination with his strange admission of feeling trapped, was frustrating. If he sympathized with me, why can’t he let me go? Is it really that dangerous in the world outside these walls?
