“The fi’len have a biological mechanism. Our body chemistry works to attach us to each other. It’s supposed to only trigger when the perfect partner is present…but I’m not sure I believe in that.” I simplify it, unable to look at her as I talk. I want to believe in the bond, in Marta, in the goddess.
“So, what happened?” Marta’s voice is cautious, but her interest is piqued.
“The war…this,” I gesture to my mutilated face. “I didn’t want to go, but I had lost my parents, the former duke and duchess, in the first round of the plague. I was the only representative from the Reefs who could lead our troops. They are my responsibility alone. I couldn’t just leave them, I love my people.”Yar'oh begged me to stay. To send someone else in my stead.“I was trapped by my duty.”
“Oh,” she whispers, finally understanding what I meant.
“When I came home, Yar'oh didn’t want me. I guess no amount of money could make her look past what I’d become.”
“What do you mean by what you’ve become?” Marta’s brown eyes search my visage as if she can’t see the deep grooves on the side of my face.
“My scars…”
“Oh those, they aren’t that bad—she seems like a bitch, bullet dodged.” Marta says the statement so nonchalantly that I don’t know what to do.
It’s not that bad? It’s bad enough for a beautiful, young fi’len woman to cancel our wedding. I leave out the part where her mother and father, who were prominent dignitaries from the Ram’bola Steppes, brought her back to the estate and begged her to reconsider.
“You can look past his face, darling, can’t you? Look, look at all this splendor. Surely His Grace the Duke will treasure a beauty such as you. Think of your future…think of your family!”her mother begged.
If I had been stronger, I wouldn’t have let them in. But Yar'oh held my hearts captive. I could stomach bribing her to marry me—but it wasn’t enough. My injury was still fresh as I tried as hard as I could to smile. I moved the muscles of my face until they seared with pain.
“He’s ruined, Mother, my beautiful Raf’ere is gone. Just let me leave!”
She didn’t address me once, casting her eyes down to the ground. All the while, her mother gripped her wrist, trying to drag her to me. Yar'oh twisted and flailed, trying desperately not to approach me.
“It’s not so bad, my dear, and in time they’ll fade.”
When her mother wrenched her chin up, she winced.
“I can’t marry a monster like him! What will everyone think? I’ll be the laughingstock of Sontafrul 6…”
I shake my head, willing the painful memory to stop.
“You know, she’s not the only one who called me a monster.” I call her bluff—not that bad,my ass.
“Oh god, I didn’t mean it like that,” Marta says, rolling her eyes. “It’s like you’ve forgotten that humans don’t know aliens actually exist. Ugh, I’ve never seen anything like you.” She gestures at me aggressively with her hand.
“Still a monster, though,” I chide.
“Dude, you have gills. Your skin is gray, and you’re damn near like seven and half feet tall…I panicked. I take it back, happy?” She seems angry that I’m harping on this point. “I’m sorry she did that to you though,” she adds a little more kindly, maybe sensing my discomfort.
At the same time, I don’t understand why she’s trying to downplay my scars. She has no reason to be nice to me.
I don’t want to think about it anymore.
“Who is Bruno? Was he your mate on Earth?”
Marta’s brows furrow and her mouth screws to the side.
“Mate? No, Brunowasmy dog…he was my best friend,” Marta’s voice cracks when she says his name.
Dog.A four-legged animal covered in hair, a wagging tail, neck encircled in a collar.
Bruno was an animal companion. I internally sigh in relief.
“We don’t have many pets here. We have a few, but they’ve always seemed somewhat superfluous to me.”
“But that lace cravat isn’t? For someone who dresses like you do, you don’t have much room to call anything superfluous.” She chortles before telling me sadly, “He was more than a pet, I miss him so fucking much.”
