I didn’t want to talk about that, so I responded, “Let’s get you sat down.”
He groused and grumbled, but eventually I managed to drag him to the couch, where he collapsed, sighed loudly, almost snoring, and struggled upright. I didn’t know what to do for him. The only thing I could think of was to pour him a glass of water. His eyes lit up as he heard the faucet, but when I brought it over, he pretended he couldn’t move. “I need your help. I’m paralyzed, and water’s very dangerous for a man in my state. I might drown. Or I could spill it all over myself, catch a cold, and die.”
He looked at me like a defenseless puppy, and I asked, “Do you honestly want me to pour this into your mouth like you’re a baby?”
He nodded mischievously. Fine. I played along. He took a few sips, then stuck out his tongue. “Gross,” he said. “I thought that was vodka.”
“Sorry, no more alcohol for you tonight. You’ve clearly had all you need.”
Jack leaned his head back and closed his eyes, accepting defeat. I waited for him to say something, and when he didn’t, I thought he had passed out. After a few seconds, telling myself there wasn’t any harm in it, I stroked his cheek with my palm, feeling the prickle of his beard. He tried and failed to say something. That scared me, and I asked, “Do you need me to get Will?”
“No,” he replied firmly. “Please, just stay here with me. Please.”
Please, I thought.Now we’re getting somewhere. I haven’t heard Jack utter that word since I got here.
“We’ll make a deal,” I told him. “You drink some water, and I’ll stay.”
“Fiiiiine.” He pursed his lips, but he obeyed. When he had emptied the glass, he handed it back to me with an innocent smile. “So, first question,” he asked. “Are you going to keep living here?”
I couldn’t deal with that yet, so I responded, “I got you a burger in case you were hungry.”
He smiled like a child on Christmas day. “You got me dinner! That means you’ve been thinking of me!”
“You wish. We just happened to have one leftover.” I walked to the kitchen, heated up his dinner, put it on a plate, and handed it to him. He still looked overjoyed as he turned on the TV and gobbled up his meal. I sat there next to him, beginning to feel relieved. There was nothing on, just infomercials, and yet strangely, they captivated both of us, at least until Jack set his plate on the coffee table and rested his head on my shoulder.
“Well, well,” he said, his eyebrows rising and falling. “Look at the two of us, all alone, with no one watching. What should we do?”
“Sleep.”
“Funny, I had something else in mind.”
I wanted to laugh, but all I could do was shake my head. He loved to embarrass me, and he had a talent for it. His expression turned serious, and he asked, “Why are you sad?”
Of course, I knew why, but I wasn’t ready to tell him.
“Who said I was sad?”
“I know you. I know what your sad face looks like.”
I hadn’t seen that coming, and I wasn’t prepared. I’d been sad all day, but Will hadn’t noticed. Neither had Sue when she’d emerged from herroom. Jack was different, though. Even when he was drunk or high, or maybe both, he could see straight into me with those big eyes peeking through his chestnut bangs. No matter how silly he acted, he never missed anything.
“It’s my grandmother,” I confessed. He was the first person I had told. “She was… I guess she got sick, recently, and nobody in my family told me.”
“Why not?”
“They said they didn’t want to worry me. Spencer and Shannon said that, I mean. They’re the only people in my family I’m talking to right now. I basically cut my parents off. I decided one day I couldn’t keep hiding who I really am and what I really think, and it turns out they don’t like it.”
Jack reflected for a moment and smirked. “To hell with them, then. I’m proud of what you’ve done, and if they can’t take you as you are, then they don’t deserve you. You’re sweet, caring, understanding. You’re just good. Too good for those people. And I’m sorry about your grandmother. That must hurt. I hope she gets better soon.”
It was strange, him being so nice. Strange, but I’d take it. I felt relieved, as if I could finally breathe again after being trapped underwater, and even if I wanted to change the subject—because the pain of knowing Grandma was sick was still so raw—I was grateful that the real Jack had finally returned.
“How’d you know I was sad?” I asked.
Edging in close to me, he shook his head. “Jen, I can read you like a book. Well, not quite. It was obvious you were upset, but I didn’t know why. I thought it was because of me. Vain, right? I don’t know why I’d think I mattered that much to you.”
“You know how much you mean to me, Jack.”
“You don’t have to pretend, Jen. You don’t have to try and make me feel better. It’s just… I’ve thought a lot about you this year. Not always goodthings. I’m OK admitting that. I can remember imagining you at home, in your room with those cheesy decorations and all those records you never listen to, opening your scrapbook with all those memories good and bad inside. I imagined you putting something about me on the last page. And… I don’t know.” His voice cracked. “I don’t want to be one of your mistakes, Jen. I know I’ve been acting, uh… I know I haven’t been easy to deal with. When I’m with other people, I can deal with my issues, but with you, it’s too much for me. The idea that a person I love would want to leave me, that was hard the first time around, but to have it happen again… I just don’t know how I’m supposed to act.”
